1. Fantasizing about the day you'll totally show someone up in a random dance battle.
2. Pretending you're in a music video or movie montage when you've got your headphones on.
3. Hearing someone laughing near you and assuming they're laughing AT you.
4. Going through your FB, Twitter, or Instagram whenever you friend someone to "see it through their eyes."
5. And immediately rereading an email the second after you sent it.
6. Thinking about dropping your phone anytime you're standing above a body of water.
7. Throwing away the box from your microwave meal and then immediately having to fish it out to find out how long to cook it.
8. Keeping your headphones on after your music stops and not realizing until maybe hours later.
Turns out I've been sitting with headphones on, but no music for about 25 minutes. I'm on top of EVERYTHING.
9. Rehearsing whatever stories you would tell as a guest on a late-night talk show.
10. Googling something without thinking and then staring at the search results like "what just happened how did I get here?"
11. Immediately touching a plate after the server warns you it's hot.
12. Staging fictional conversations between you and friends, enemies, celebrity crushes, anyone.
13. Plotting out escape routes for unlikely scenarios.
14. Rushing out of the pool if everyone else gets out because you know there are suddenly sharks in there.
15. Pretending you're a private detective in public places and imagining backstories for the people around you.
16. Getting unnaturally excited when you find that one stray chin hair that always grows nice and long.
17. Circling around your apartment whenever you have to talk on the phone.
18. Dancing in elevators, bathroom stalls, basically any small place in which you find yourself alone.
19. Pretending you're in an action movie when you're out for a run.
20. Telling white lies about your life to strangers you meet on planes, in parks, wherever, just because why not??
21. Trying really, really hard to move something with your mind, or just pretending you can.
22. Believing that you'll somehow be able to watch the next episode even though you know you don't have enough time.
23. Having fake fights in your head so you can be ready if you ever have to defend your convictions.
24. Picking pimples that aren't "ready" even though you know you're going to make your face look a million times worse.
25. Apologizing to doors or furniture when you accidentally kick or bump into them.
26. Putting your music on shuffle and then still skipping through them to get to the one you wanted anyway.
27. Looking at a price tag and finding out the store you're in is wayyyyy out of your price range, but then staying for a while like you're totally unfazed.
28. Listening to a song you love on repeat until it makes you want to die.
29. Shouting for no reason when you know no one is around.
30. Stopping the microwave at one second just to prove you can.
31. Jokingly telling your friend to "pee for [you] while [they're] up!!" but then actually wishing that was a thing they could do.
32. Sitting in the shower.
33. Trying to close the refrigerator slowly enough to catch what it looks like with the lights off.
