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21 Things Only British Jews Know To Be True

Oy vey, when will the world grasp the concept of bagels?

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2. Your family has subscribed to this for as long as you can remember.

Your Grandma reads the whole thing. Your parents read it to find out who has died. You used to know the bar and bat mitzvah kids. And now you know the people who are getting married.


4. Every time you meet a Jewish person of your age, you spend five minutes discussing who you have in common. Ninety percent of the time, you'll then find out you're related.

7. If you were in a Facebook relationship with bacon, it would be "complicated".

Even kosher Jews admit that nothing smells better, or cures hangovers more effectively, than bacon. So basically you're vegetarian. Except for seafood because mussels and lobster and oysters and oy gevult, it's complicated. As long as you're kosher in front of your Grandpa, you're fine.


10. One word: TOUR.

Via Anna Sheinman / Facebook

Yes, that's me on the right. Yes, I'm in a Bedouin tent. Yes, I probably kissed someone that night. And yes, I'm sure he was a nice, Jewish boy. Man, I miss tour.


13. You have an uncle whose favourite fact is that EVERYONE famous is Jewish.

Daniel Radcliffe wasn't just chosen to be a wizard, he's one of the Chosen People. Also of note are: Ali G; Daniel Day Lewis; Natalie Portman; Kat Dennings; Lena Dunham and Jesus. They are all "one of the tribe".


21. And of course, despite being a tiny population of just 260,000 (that's 0.5% of the UK population), we share in something so much bigger, something most of the other 14 million Jews around the world do: chicken soup.