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21 Things Jewish Girls Will Never Say

You're from Hendon? Where's that?

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1. "I love my curly hair. I wish my hair were even curlier."

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2. "The problem with my bum is that it's just too small."

3. "I don't need to shave all that often."

4. "I love Jewish Singles events. They fill me with hope for the future."

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5. "All the best guys are on JDate."

6. "And the guys on JSwipe are just so much hotter in real life!"

7. "I just wish Jewish men weren't so tall."

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8. "My parents’ friends have never tried to set me up."

9. "He's a doctor? Nope, not interested."

10. "I can't wait to go to another friend's engagement party."

11. "I love it when my blind date gets me bang up to date on the Jewish football league."

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12. "Thanks dad, but I don't really need a new dress for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah."

13. "Jewish charities do events? Who knew?"

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14. "I especially like it when I get given a bit of plate. Just what I wanted."

15. "Going out for sushi with my Jewish girlfriends? That really doesn't sound like something I would do."

16. "White House Express? Nope, never heard of it. I don't think it's very popular."

17. "Soyo? Nope, not heard of that either. Maybe Jews just don't go there."

18. "Where's Brent Cross?"

19. "Sorry I’m so early!"

20. "I didn't recognise anyone in this week's Jewish Chronicle."

21. In synagogue, in the women's section: "Shhhh, I'm praying!"