1.
We've been around for 3,000 years, but we still don't know how to describe all the different types of Jews.
2.
We go to charity events to pull.
3.
And we know that if we actually want to marry a Jew, the maths doesn't look great.
4.
We're not sure if having sex through a sheet is a thing.
5.
We don't really get how foreskins work.
6.
Our social lives peaked at 13.
7.
The saying "two Jews, three opinions" is entirely accurate.
8.
Whenever we see the letter "J" in an acronym, we automatically assume it stands for "Jewish".
9.
Keeping kosher is hard. And sometimes it makes no sense.
10.
That said, Jewish cuisine is more diverse than you think.
11.
Fast days are totally worth it for the meal afterwards.
12.
One of the biggest disagreements in Judaism is about rice.
13.
The best thing about synagogue is kiddush. That's snacks and whiskey.
14.
We pretend to speak way more Yiddish than we actually do.
15.
Speaking Hebrew makes us sound like we have bad phlegm.
16.
We can tell a lot about other Jews by their surnames.
17.
Every time we meet new Jews, we play a special friend-making game.
18.
We have a canny skill for spotting other Jews on Facebook.
20.
We're lying when we say we're not envious of Christmas.
21.
But hey, at least we have a festival dedicated to cheesecake.
