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19 Stock Photos That Are Totally Lying To You

This is not real life.

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1. This lady who woke up picture perfect.

Fuse / Getty Images

I love those days when you wake up fresh as fuck, hair done, make-up perfect and your whole mouth just smells like Colgate.

2. These people exercising while looking weirdly delighted, with not a drop of sweat to be seen.

Notorious91 / Getty Images

OK, no one is EVER that happy to exercise. That girl in the blue knows what’s up, her smile and pose say “Happiness! Joy! Endorphins!” but her eyes say “lies.”

3. These children standing in a circle, looking happy and well-behaved.

Robert Churchill / Getty Images

Is this some sort of weird, freaky kid cult? Why are they all so happy to be standing in a circle? Why are they looking up? What are they doing?

4. This child finger-painting, hands and face dirty, clothes completely clean.

Metinkiyak / Getty Images

This child is like “look, mother, be proud of me. I have painted my face and hands more than the picture behind me, but do not worry, as alas, I have no paint on my… swimming costume??”

5. This girl look extremely stoked to be muddy but with her hair completely untouched.

Icearnaudov / Getty Images

So this kid is a little more realistic because she’s dirty and also managed to get it on her clothes. Her hair on the other hand? She won’t need some Johnson’s apple scented all-in-one shampoo and conditioner later, because it miraculously stayed dry and mud-free. #Goals.

6. This excited child, ready to eat pasta, in a gleaming kitchen.

Famveld / Getty Images

You cannot trust a child that small in a kitchen. It’s my personal theory you cannot trust a child at all tbh, but good luck to whoever’s taking care of this kid, because that ain’t going to be a pretty sight later. Also is that a weirdly shaped capsicum?

7. These people getting fired, looking vaguely pissed off (fairly accurate), carrying plants (not so accurate).

I think these people are obviously getting fired because their boss was all “Stop trying to grow a garden in this damn office, we are not Bunnings!” and they were like “LOL don’t give a fuck tbh.” Anyway. Now they have to take their plants and say bye bye to corporate life. What's with the woman on the right though? She looks shady. She was definitely growing marijuana.

8. This teacher with bunch of papers, shiny apple balancing perfectly on top.

Creatas Images / Getty Images

Because everyone who has STACKS of paper work to do always want a shiny red apple. Not chocolate, or sugar or coffee or anything. An apple is all you need.

9. This guy counting copper coins carefully, stacking them into piles.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images

We all want to go to on a holiday, but I don’t think you’ve saved enough mate. Like at all.

10. This lady looking weirdly happy about her clothes spilling out of her suitcase.

Evgenyatamanenko / Getty Images

Umm I don’t think that’s how you pack tbh. Why is her place so beige and clean and she’s like “but wait! I’m colourful and unruly too look at my suitcase lol!”

11. These siblings happily lounging in a tent... on some rocks.

Darrin Klimek / Getty Images

This is obviously some sort of punishment, perhaps a step up from the naughty corner or whatever parents do to teach their kids a lesson. The weird thing is the girl is like STOKED to be laying casually on rocks under a tent while the younger boy is obviously is the smarter one and looking rather at concerned at why he’s older sister is insanely happy.

12. This lady in the rain, having the time of her life, suede boots completely untouched.

Jose Antonio Sanchez Reyes / Getty Images

I’m not sure if this lady has used an umbrella before... it’s barely covering her head. And why is she looking slightly aroused about the rain? And her boots aren’t even wet? She’d be the type of friend you go out with and it’s pissing down rain and she’s like “mmm, refreshing smell that” and you’re like “bitch, I’m cold and tired, I just want to go home.”

13. This passed out lady, delicately placed between empty alcohol bottles.

Runzelkorn / Getty Images

OK we 100% need to talk about this. This chick is passed out, on the ground, perfectly placed between some upright empty alcohol bottles (did she drink those all herself??) with her arm coiled tenderly around some of the bottles. See the blurred edges? It’s a metaphor for her memory. So artistic. While us mere mortals sometimes pass out face down, clothes and shoes on, with the lights glaring, this lady is having done of that. She’s like the sleeping beauty of alcohol or something. It’s either that or she’s super protective of her bottles and setting up a trap because she has a sneaky suspicion her housemate has been “borrowing” from her stash.

14. This couple kissing underwater romantically, except she's probably swallowing a lot of chlorine rn.

Eyecandy Images / Getty Images

Kissing underwater is such a romantic lie. And this photo is no better, because if she have your lips parted like that, you’re not tasting sweet, sweet love (or lust) just a whole lot of chlorine that people have probably pee’d in before. Not so romantic now is it.

15. This family that just really fucking love lemons.

Purestock / Getty Images

I've never seen people so delighted over one lemon. But you know what they say... when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or take a tequila shot or something.

16. These two girls in matching clothes, stoked to be on a baggage carousel.

Digital Vision / Getty Images

Parent one: "Hey honey... I've had enough of the kids after this goddamn holiday. How do we escape?"

Parent two: "Let's tell them the only way to fetch the bags is to sit on the carousel and go to the bar. It's the perfect plan."

17. This child who is being spoon-fed by both her parents, and is super happy about it.

Thinkstock

There is actually no excuse for this child to be not feeding herself. And why is this family as a whole so stoked about salad? Who eats salad with a ripe tomato, some lettuce and and half-cut capsicum just casually sitting on the table with them? This isn't the sort of family bonding most of us grew up with and thank god for that.

18. This guy painting his house and his wife trying to get in on dat action.

Luckybusiness / Getty Images

It's such a turn-on when your guy paints the house a weird sickly green, that matches your shirt.

19. These coworkers acting like they're in a meeting but they're totally not.

Getty Images

These working pals are pretending they're working, but really old mate holding the iPad or whatever it is is asking his mates if he should go on this Tinder date. They cover this up if their boss walks past by saying things like "So George propositioned..." and then following it up with "that we get a drink, is that sensible?! Or should we keep it alcohol free??"

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