Can You Picture Naming A Newborn These Adult-Sounding Names?

Listen, all of you Bartholomews out there are doing fine now, but even you have to agree that's an ~interesting~ choice for a newborn.

These names are fine for grown adults, but something about them just doesn't quite fit right with a newborn, in my humble opinion. The "Muriels" of the world didn't just pop out knowing how to knit and with pockets full of hard candies! So, could you imagine calling a newborn baby these names?