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Can You Get Through This Quiz Without Thanking The Gods You No Longer Live In A Dorm?

Or if you're currently living in a shitty dorm, may the odds be ever in your favor.

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  1. Check off all of the things you (or your parents) paid way too much for:

    Check
    Mysterious stains on the carpet.
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    Mysterious stains on the ceiling.
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    A flickering, fluorescent light in the hallway.
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    No air conditioning.
    Check
    Heat that only went full blast.
    Check
    Heat that never worked.
    Check
    Chipped wall paint.
    Check
    Three people living in a double room.
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    FOUR or more people living in a double room (dear god).
    Check
    Cinderblock walls that didn't allow a cell phone or Wi-Fi signal to pass through.
    Check
    But you could still somehow hear your neighbors having sex?
    Check
    Those horrible, cinderblock walls, period.
    Check
    Very inconveniently placed outlets.
    Check
    Sweaty walls that your command strips refused to stick to.
    Check
    Housing regulations that cramped your decorating ~style~.
    Check
    Cheap wardrobes in place of actual closets.
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    A common room converted to a living space because the school ran out of housing.
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    Or that one student who always slept in the common room for no discernible reason.
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    A communal fridge that no one cleaned.
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    A crusty communal stove that always set off the fire alarm.
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    Someone who constantly burned popcorn in the microwave (and also sets off the fire alarm).
    Check
    Mouse visitors.
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    Roach visitors.
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    No water pressure.
    Check
    A chronically clogged shower drain.
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    A shower with sporadically hot water.
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    A shower with NO hot water.
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    Just...that one shower. Ya know?
    Check
    A soulful guitar player who always found their muse at two in the morning.
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    Or an aspiring DJ who also found their muse at two in the morning.
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    Sometimes in tandem.
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    A very rude human who drew dicks on everyone's white boards.
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    ...or put lotion on everyone's door knobs.
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    Smells. So many smells.
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    A neighbor who liked to vacuum past 11 p.m.
    Check
    Hallway sing-a-longs led by the soulful guitar player.
    Check
    An RA who was super into ice breakers and group activities.
    Check
    The Laundry Hunger Games every Sunday.
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    A rickety washer that always ran an extra 20 minutes.
    Check
    An overzealous laundry-doer who took your clothes out of the machine within an minute of it finishing.
    Check
    That room on the floor that always smelled like weed.
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    A toilet that never flushed.
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    A HUMAN who never flushed.
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    The sounds of drunk retching at night.
    Check
    Hair and pizza crusts EVERYWHERE.
    Check
    Perpetual exhaustion due to some or all of the above.
 
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