Can You Survive A Public Restroom?
You push back the stall door to see that the floor, toilet, and bits of the wall are coated in wet wads of toilet paper. It's unclear what liquids were used to moisten the clumps of toilet tissue, but it's advisable that you just shut the door and try another stall rather than stand there and further debate this quandary.
You push back the stall door to reveal one of those rare, perfectly pristine toilets. Satisfied, you take a sit (or squat or stand; I'm not pretending to know you) and do your business, only to find that in place of what should be a bountiful roll of toilet paper is a sad, barren cylinder. Now it's up to you whether you just shake it off or cry out to the neighboring stall for help.
You push back the stall door to reveal a toilet artistically sprinkled with pee. It's quite a clever metaphor, if you really think about.
You push back the stall door to reveal a rat guarding the toilet. If you're at all interested, his name is Harris and he takes his job very, very seriously.
You push back the stall door to reveal a generous pile of stool in the toilet bowl. It's quite ripe, too. Maybe even sentient? You should probably just leave.
You push back the stall door to reveal a toilet bowl filled to the brim with scum soup. There is a plunger in the stall, but dare you touch it? The toilet water is starting to bubble, so it's best that you just run away.
You push back the stall door to reveal a toilet locked with a chain. I'm very sorry for this inconvenience, but to be fair there was an out-of-order sign.
You push back the stall door and lock eyes with Jim from accounting. You immediately slam the door and go to a higher-up to request a sick week, change of offices, an extended sabbatical in another country, something, anything, dear god why.
You push back the stall door and raise an arm to shield your eyes from gleaming porcelain. An angelic choir sings a chord in the background as the scent of artificial petunias beckons you forward. Go ahead and claim your throne. You've earned it.