16 Roommate Sex Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Live Alone
"YOU SHAT IN MY BED."
1. Spa Day:
My freshman roommate somehow ended up getting involved with a guy in his mid-thirties. (It was creepy.) One cold evening I walked into our dorm around 8:00 completely exhausted after a full day of class. I opened the door to find him stretched out on the bed with my roommate straddling him, waxing his chest, while SpongeBob played on the TV.
Submitted by Pugtato
2. The three-peat:
My college roommate slept with my boyfriend, my older brother, and my cousin at different times. She really hated me.
Submitted by nycgirl2014
My male roommate was dating a good female friend of mine, and I came home one day to hear sounds that were probably sex, but also could have been a cat suffering slow torture. Worse yet, when I barricaded myself in my room, these noises moved themselves from the bedroom to the bathroom, which shared a wall with my room.
So I text my girlfriend "Hey, maybe warn me next time you are coming over, you guys are super loud!" Five minutes later I received a response "I'm at work, what are you talking about?"
Submitted by missmychal
4. The sound:
In my college apartment, my roommate's bed on the second floor was directly above an air vent that led to another vent directly above the couch downstairs. I heard every little detail. The sound of her boyfriend's balls slapping still haunts me.
Submitted by stephanied4525a96ad
5. The amateur gymnast:
Once I came home and my roommate and her fwb were having sex standing up in the middle of the room. She was bent over like she was reaching for her toes and he was behind her. When they saw me come in, he thrusted really hard and she did a somersault. I saw so many body parts I never wanted to see.
Submitted by moniquec46279af09
6. A happy ending:
I foolishly lived with two guys my sophomore year of college. One night, one of them had very drunken sex with a girl that none of us really knew. When they were finished, my roommate came out and said the girl needed my help with something. I walked into the bathroom to find her spread-eagle on the toilet, pawing at herself. As it turns out, she was on her period and did not remove her tampon before having sex. Long story short, I got it out.
Submitted by alic4eeeeb2d9
7. At least she works out:
When I was in college I had a rather obnoxious roommate who had no respect for privacy. We shared a bathroom and kept both of our belongings in the shared space. One day I went underneath the sink cabinet to fetch something and saw a lone Dixie cup with two silver balls in it. A quick Google search enlightened me to the fact that my roommate was keeping her used kegel balls under the shared community sink, nicely displayed for all too see.
Submitted by tylorm4bcc23482
One night my roommate came home wasted with a guy. They broke off our front door knob by not waiting until they got inside to start having sex. Once they got in, they spent so long having sex in our shower that I had to pee in the litter box.
Submitted by caitlinpaigel
9. A family affair:
My freshman year of high school, my family was dropping my sister off at college for the first time, and my sister's boyfriend tagged along. We were all sharing a hotel room with two beds, meaning my parents went in one bed and my sister, her boyfriend, and I were forced in the same bed. Not only was I forced into the edge of the bed the whole night, but I also got no sleep because I heard quiet moaning in the middle of the night! He was fucking FINGERING HER WHILE I WAS IN THE SAME BED. My sister ended up top of him and they were making out most of the night. Well, I guess that's one way to make... um "loving" sisterly memories.
Submitted by hmskating
10. Mother knows best:
Waking up to the squeaks of a mattress as your roommate is getting laid.
And by roommate I mean my mom.
Submitted by clairew469e28fce
11. He was probably just hungry:
One time I heard my roommate shout "YOU SHAT IN MY BED," and knowing it was her ex, we were all fairly concerned. Turns out it was a cupcake, but he did take a massive chunk out of another roommate's block of cheese, so nobody was really happy that morning.
Submitted by roisink4284a94af
12. Is there a badge for that:
I went on a holiday to Switzerland with my Explorer Scout unit back in 2004. I was sharing a tiny two-man tent with another girl for two weeks, and we usually ended up sleeping literally nose to nose. Our nightly ritual was to go to the local pub until 2am, and then come back to bed.
I came back pretty early as I was rather tired, and fell asleep almost straight away. Hours later I was woken up to find a hairy, white arse bobbing up and down in my face. I screamed, and started punching and kicking this naked backside, making sure I got a few bollocks smacks in there as well. I wanted to do as much damage as possible. In the furore, I quickly realised that my "tent-mate" had pulled one of the lads from our Explorer unit, and decided to do the deed literally on top of me.
Needless to say that the lad was sitting quite gingerly the following few days.
Submitted by mrslajames
My boyfriend at the time and his roommate had to share a room. I was going down on him when his roommate barged in and said "You're never using my bong again" and walked out.
Submitted by toric48cd00b15
14. I'm glad we didn't have Snapchat in college:
My flatmate stood at my bedroom door and Snapchatted the sound of me and my girlfriend having sex to my ex. He thought it would be funny.
Submitted by r490f4da51
15. At least he was considerate:
My roommate had quiet sex while I was sleeping two feet in front of her, and then her boyfriend got up to pee and ended up peeing in our roommate's drawer, and then climbed into bed naked with me for a round two, thinking it was his girlfriend. When I was yelling that I wasn't her he said, "Shush you'll wake up (me) and the other roommates."
Submitted by candynatalia
16. ... ... ...
I had a flatmate who admitted to using a glass against the wall to listen to me & my boyfriend have sex… so creepy!!
Submitted by jjfers