Redditor u/Thick-Ass-Chloe asked, "What is one thing you and your partner do that you are surprised not all couples do?" I've rounded up 16 of the best (and most controversial) answers, and I'm curious...do you do these things too? Let's find out!
Please note: Single folks of BuzzFeed (or anyone who one/more of these questions may not apply to), you're more than welcome to answer these ~hypothetically~ or from past experience too!
1. "People will think it’s weird, but we sit on the same side of the booth in a restaurant."
"I prefer my partner sitting closer to at restaurants if it’s just the two of us. It makes the dinner feel more romantic."
2. "We can travel separately without issue and have no problem with the other having close opposite-sex friends without any externally imposed boundaries. I've had friends react very poorly to me 'allowing' my husband to go camping with a female friend. Firstly, he's a grown man, not a dog on a leash. Secondly, why would I bother to be with someone I couldn't trust at baseline? If something like that were to make me feel nervous, I'd take it as a sign of us lacking trust in the relationship."
3. "We talk about people we find attractive together."
"We know how we feel about each other. About a year ago, I was at work, and I mentioned that I found some random dude attractive. I didn’t say I wanted to sleep with him; just that he was hot. My coworker was like, 'You’re married!' I told her that marriage doesn’t mean I can’t think someone is good looking or comment on it. Besides, I know my husband finds other people attractive too... It’s healthy to know that you and your spouse HAVE EYES and will form opinions on what you see. As long as you’re not doing anything that crosses your partner’s boundaries, it’s all good."
"My partner and I do this! We do sort of have a boundary, though. We do not point out attractiveness for people we know personally. Celebrities/strangers, no prob."
4. "We go grocery shopping together almost every time. It’s just something we enjoy doing together whereas if done alone, it feels like a chore."
5. "Ours is sleeping with separate blankets. I can't understand how any couple tries to share a single blanket all night."
"My partner has this scratchy wool blanket that he loves, and he uses it as a first layer. I can't stand it. I have a faux sheepskin on one side, velour on the other side, and I use a weighted blanket on top in the cold months. When one of us invites the other under our respective blankets, it's a very clear signal that we want fun to happen."
6. "We have scheduled sex nights. It blows my mind how many couples I know that are in sexless marriages! The VAST majority haven't had sex in years! Start banging and make it a top priority, people!"
"It’s definitely more fun to be spontaneous, but when the kids came it was a choice between scheduled or not at all."
7. "We never, ever speak poorly or complain about each other to other people, regardless of who they are and how we are feeling. We always communicate our concerns with each other and try to see each other's point of view."
"We both despise this 'I hate my husband/wife' mentality of the boomer generation, and for me that starts with talking to friends about the things you don't like about your spouse. We resolve our (rare) conflicts privately. We are always 100% a team and have each other's backs."
8. "We talk to our children like they are people. We don't shy away from serious subjects or use euphemisms. We're age-appropriate but truthful, and it's really not that hard. I don't understand why so many people work so hard to avoid telling their kids how the world works."
"My wife and I do the same thing. I find it's easier and less stressful too, because we aren't always dancing around subjects and trying to keep a bunch of different narratives going."
9. "We talked about the engagement process, the style of ring I liked, roughly when he would propose, etc. I had a friend in shock when I got engaged that we talked about the whole process. They've been together for like eight years and apparently haven't discussed engagement much. I don't understand the mindset of couples that don't talk about an engagement beforehand."
"I knew a couple that didn't talk about it at all; the guy proposed and she said yes but hated the ring so they had to return it."
"This! I also asked my boyfriend if he would be OK with me proposing or if he prefers the traditional route. When we walk past the jewelry store, we look at the rings in the window and talk which ones to we like, etc."
10. "We talk about finances. I assumed this was normal, but the number of couples we know who have no clue about their partner's debts, credit, etc. shocks me. We both grew up poor, so maybe we have more financial anxiety that makes us want to be more transparent with each other??? No idea."
11. "We pick out each other’s ingrown hairs. It’s so satisfying for the both of us."
12. "We shower together almost every day."
"Showering together is so important. If you can’t find time to be sexually intimate, the shower is one way to at least maintain another kind of physical intimacy."
13. "We don't sleep in the same bed or room. We're so much better people and treat each other with more kindness because we've actually slept."
"Absolutely this! I’m such a light sleeper, and I sweat a lot at night. He snores like a freight train and likes to be cold at night. Separate beds has been game changing for us, and I think it should be more common!"
14. "We say I love you to one another every morning and every night, at least once, and sometimes twice. I've been told by a surprising number of people that they think saying something too often makes it mean less, but that's total bullshit in my opinion. Love isn't finite, and whether or not someone tells you they love you once or a hundred times doesn't diminish that love. It's not a mattress that gets worn down over time. If something happens and that's the last morning or night I ever see my wife, I can rest easy knowing the last thing I said to her was 'I love you.'"
15. "We switch tasks/chores. When our friend's parent died, she was floored that her surviving parent didn't understand basic things about their household. This really affected us. Every January and July we sit down, write a list of the household tasks that we somehow fell into doing exclusively, and exchange them. This way, we always know how to take care of all aspects of our combined life, whether it's knowing which drawer to put the baking utensils in or how to renew our insurance policies. We don't want to fall into this trap where we get so comfortable splitting specific tasks that we would struggle to take care of our lives if one of us was suddenly gone."
16. And finally, "We express appreciation for what the other does, no matter how mundane. Taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher, simply making it to work on a rough day, cooking dinner, etc. It gets easy to take those things for granted, and resentment sets in. It might seem like setting the bar low, but sometimes just being a person is hard, and those efforts are all your partner has at that moment."
"Yes. I have ADHD and every household task besides whatever cleaning project I hyper focus on is a BATTLE of my will. So when my girlfriend does domestic stuff, I'm in awe at how easily she can just do the thing and I'm very vocal with my appreciation! And she always expresses gratitude to me, because she knows it's just harder over here in this brain to both start and finish tasks."
Now it's your turn! Is there something you and your partner do that you're surprised other couples don't? If so, tell us about it in the comments below!
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