1.
If people are bothering you, just build a fort.
2.
If anyone tries to start a conversation with you, just pretend you're a hologram.
3.
If you're ever in a conversation you don't want to be in, just use this line.
4.
Or start using worrisome phrasing.
5.
Or tell everyone about your weirdest hobbies.
6.
At work, keep weird stuff in the fridge and no one will mess with you.
7.
Or you can take a more direct approach.
8.
If you're asked to work on a project with someone else, politely explain why that's a bad idea.
9.
Imaginary smoke bombs a great way to get out of hearing about someone's weekend.
10.
Or you can always go the Mallory route.
11.
Of course, you can also just interrupt them at any point and say this, and that should stop them.
12.
If anyone ever tries to touch something on your desk, just gently insinuate that it'll explode.
13.
Or show them your VHS collection. Blacklight optional.
14.
As a last resort, if people just won't leave you alone, you can always just say something unforgivably offensive.
15.
Or get out the paddle.
16.
Or just channel Lana and then walk away forever.
