Comedian Jim Smallman took to Twitter to do what we all do on social media: share our deepest, darkest, most personal fears.
WEIRD FEARS Let’s share ours. Mine: hotel corridors with hanging light fittings. As a kid saw a tv show about poltergeists where they showed a corridor with lights swinging by themselves. In any similar corridor now, I run out of terror.
His tweets about weird, random fears he had growing up — and still has — inspired others to share theirs.
ALSO In the first house I remember living in, my parents had a painting of a woman playing the lute. I frequently had nightmares about that painting. I swear the eyes followed me.
Those fears included...
Surprise food fillings.
@jimsmallman Surprise centres in food. Jam donuts can gtfo.
Red — specifically red — ice cream vans.
@jimsmallman I've grown out of it now, but when I was a kid I was terrified of red ice cream vans. Only red ones. Absolute nonsense.
Bath drains.
@jimsmallman As a kid, my grandma always used to tell me that if I stayed in the bath as it drained, my soul would get sucked through along with the water. Still wary over it. 😬
Goofy, of Disney fame.
@jimsmallman I have a crippling fear of goofy the dog. Cant explain it, have had recurring nightmares over it and was so scared when seeing a costume in disneyland paris that I had to calm down for like 30 minutes.
Open closets (same, tbh).
@jimsmallman Can't sleep with the closet door open. Logically, I know there's nothing in there. I also don't want to wake up at 3 am and see glowing eyeballs
The sudden disappearance of gravity.
@jimsmallman Falling into the sky as I lie on my back looking at the stars. I get this horrible feeling that I'm about to fall down into space.
Eggs.
@jimsmallman Also, eggs is my ‘weird’ fear. The look, the feel of the shell, the smell... and if you think about what it REALLY is too 😪 I can’t touch them, let alone eat them
And, um, being stabbed in the back by Uma Thurman with a machete while trapped in an elevator.
@jimsmallman Throughout my childhood, for some as-yet-unearthed-by-therapy reason, my phobia was specifically this; being trapped in a lift. And then stabbed in the back with a machete. By Uma Thurman. I cannot emphasise how terrified this scenario made me feel.
As for me, it's all about scary mirrors.
