1. Thinking "well, this isn't so bad" when there's literal ice on the ground:
midwest culture is wearing shorts to school when it’s 29° outside
2. Saying "ope" at every minor inconvenience:
*Accidentally bumps into someone* My brain: Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Me: "ope"
3. Like, seriously, all the time:
When the cashier asks a Midwesterner “do you want your receipt?”
4. Having a whole extra freezer called "the outdoors":
Midwest culture is putting stuff that doesn’t fit in the fridge out in the garage to keep it cold
5. Having an innate and thorough understanding of wind chill:
Nobody: Midwesterners: not so bad without the wind today
6. This lil' gesture:
Midwest culture is that out of breath “Mornin” and head nod to strangers as you walk past each other in the cold
7. Making a "dip" that's essentially just cheese:
Midwest culture is mixing cream cheese + 1 other thing and calling it cheesecake or dip depending on the sugar content of the other thing
8. Having that "fertilizer" scent in the air:
midwest culture is the entire state smelling like cow shit every time it rains
9. Not even considering the airport unless you're going to one of the coasts:
midwest culture is driving 24 hours instead of going on a 2 hour flight
10. Knowing that it's all about tone:
“Hey Buddy” either means hello friend or there is a fight starting in 5 seconds
11. Suffering just so you don't slightly inconvenience anyone:
midwest culture is needing to pee the entire flight but having a window seat and not wanting to disturb the people in your row so you just suffer
12. Treating tornado warnings like they're just background noise:
Midwest culture is hearing the tornado sirens going off, checking the news station, and still not going into a basement or shelter area until you hear a tornado knocking on your door asking for some sugar.
13. Never actually swearing in public, but getting close in the most Midwestern way:
Midwest culture is using “ah jeez” in a professional email
14. Actually knowing how to spell city names like "Ypsilanti":
midwest culture is being able to spell 'cincinnati'
15. Walking around in shorts whenever it's above freezing:
Midwest culture is saying “it feels so nice out” when the temperature is in the mid 30’s
16. Using "watch for deer" as an official goodbye:
My mom just stood on the porch and yelled “watch for deer” to our leaving guests, and if that isn’t the most midwestern thing, I don’t know what is.
17. Making sure you go to the right grocery store:
midwest culture is going to the fancy kroger
18. Going to Target just to have something to do:
@CultureMidwest Wanna go to target?
19. Refusing to interrupt anyone for anything:
Midwest culture is staying after the allotted class time while the professor talks because everyone is too polite to get up and leave
20. Sensing snow before it even gets there:
someone: omg do you smell the air?? californians: ?? new yorkers: ... midwesterners: yep i can feel it in my joints, there’s a blizzard coming in two days y’all better get ready
21. And finally, just...ranch:
Midwest culture is just ranch dressing that’s it