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    I Went To A Fancy Resort In Hawaii That Queen Elizabeth Stayed At, And Here's My Honest Review

    I am not kidding when I say I had a mojito here that changed my life.

    So, I hadn't been on vacation since the pandemic started. Cases were starting to clear up in both Los Angeles — where I live — and Hawaii — where I really wanted to go — so my wife and I decided to take a trip to Oahu.

    A lounge chair on a sunny beach on Oahu

    Specifically, we wanted to stay at the Kahala Hotel & Resort on Oahu. Why? Well, the last time we were in Hawaii, we stayed on the North Shore (which is amazing, and I 100% recommend), but on our last day we ate dinner at an Italian restaurant called Arancino, which happens to be on the Kahala Hotel's grounds. It was SO DANG GOOD that we basically came back to the island specifically to eat there.* More on that later.

    A beach with palm trees and a hotel in the background

    When you first walk into this place, you're greeted by a very grand, semi-open-air lobby. It's very pretty, and there's always a bit of a cross-breeze, so it's a lovely place to sit...and you can indeed have a cocktail there. They have these really beautiful chandeliers that have colorful lava glass. They look very pretty at night.

    A hotel lobby with a large chandelier made with lava glass

    Originally we were going to stay in a room with a mountain view, but we were very lucky that there was an upgrade available. This is not an ad, but since I booked with Hotels.com (which I love, because you can earn reward nights and get perks... Again, I promise, not an ad) and have silver status, we got a free upgrade to a "Dolphin Lanai Room." This meant that we'd be on the ground floor, overlooking the dolphin lagoon.

    A view out the sliding glass door of the room I stayed, in which overlooks a large pool for the dolphins

    Now, you might be saying, "Dolphin lagoon?" Which is exactly what I said, in pretty much the same tone. We didn't know this before booking, but it turns out that the hotel has a large pool in the center where they have six dolphins. Guests can purchase a dolphin experience where they can swim with these dolphins, or if you prefer you can just watch the trainers work with and feed them during their scheduled feeding and play times.

    To be honest, I wasn't sure how I felt about the whole dolphin thing, because generally I think it's cruel to keep animals that are used to a wide range of travel cooped up in a small area. However, I did find out that this program has raised more than $4 million for dolphin and other marine mammal conservation efforts, which made me feel better about it. And they do a lot of work with Make-A-Wish kids, so there's that. But I decided not to participate.

    Regardless of whether you want to see dolphins swimming around outside your room, you're probably going to want to spring for an upgrade if you can, because folks...our room was literally STEPS from the beach. Like literally, you could walk out the door and turn to the right, and there was the beach.

    A view of the beach at the Kahala Hotel at sunset

    All beaches in Hawaii are public by law (which is awesome), but Kahala is a quieter area in general, so this beach had a very chill vibe. It gets a little livelier on the weekends, but during the week it's a great place to relax, read, have a drink, and listen to the waves. The hotel provides loungers, towels, and umbrellas free of charge to hotel guests, and there was never any shortage of them. There were even more loungers and daybeds available by the pool, but who needs a pool when you have this?

    A view of the ocean and mountains in the distance along the Oahu shoreline

    At the pool/lawn/beach area is a little restaurant called the Seaside Grill. They have some BOMB-ass cocktails, including a pineapple vanilla mojito that was — and I do not exaggerate here — life-changing. Like, I'm gonna try to recreate it at home. It was so delicious. Every drink of theirs I tried was A+.

    Two tropical-looking drinks on a table next to the beach

    There's also a little seaside restaurant called Plumeria Beach House, which features a buffet for all meals, plus an à la carte menu. I'm not quite at the COVID comfort level of a buffet, so we ordered off the menu, and lemme tell ya, the breakfast here was awesome. I've never had fluffier pancakes.

    A table outside with drinks on it and lawn

    Remember that Italian restaurant I mentioned earlier? The one that was so good that we wanted to come back to Oahu just to eat there? Well I'm happy to say that it is still delicious, so much so that we ate there twice during our stay. We started with this Caprese that had a sage-infused olive oil, and the tomatoes were so fresh that I would swear they grew them right there in the kitchen.

    A glass plate with fresh tomatoes and burrata and a small dropper containing a greenish olive oil

    We also tried their namesake arancini, which is risotto that is breaded and fried. This one also contains foie gras (which I'd never had before), truffle shavings, and a kind of charcoal breading, which was really tasty. And there's gold foil on it, just because they're fancy like that.

    A fried risotto ball with black breading, shaved truffles, and gold foil on top

    For the main course, we had two pasta dishes that we'd had there before and dreamed about for two and a half years: the tagliatelle Bolognese, and the risotto Parmigiano. The risotto is not only one of the best things I've tasted, but it's also an ~experience~: They start making it in the kitchen, and then they bring it out tableside and finish it up by mixing it around in an actual wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese. They'll also tell you the story behind the dish, which you might be familiar with if you've watched Chef's Table on Netflix.

    Another nice thing about the Kahala Hotel is its location. It's a short drive from the Honolulu airport and from downtown Waikiki, so if you want to go into town, an Uber or Lyft will probably only cost you about $15. There's also a hotel shuttle that can take you to some of the more popular shopping locations in town. Or you can contact the concierge, and they'll set you up with a bicycle that you can use to get around! I decided to go into Waikiki and take a surf lesson (shoutout to Gone Surfing Hawaii — they were great), but if you want to stay active without going into town, you can rent a kayak or snorkeling equipment from the hotel.

    You're also pretty centrally located if you're into hikes. We did the Kuli'ou'ou Ridge Trail, which was a tough climb and had some beautiful views.

    A view of the ocean from high up on the hiking trail

    We also found out that the Veranda — which is the small restaurant and lounge that the Kahala operates in the lobby — does afternoon tea on Saturdays! We also found out that Queen Elizabeth II stayed at this hotel, so tea seemed like a fitting thing to do. We picked out our teas and had a truly delicious array of tea sandwiches, scones, and desserts like madeleines and pots de crème. All of it was incredible, but I especially loved that the scones came with passion fruit and pineapple jams, which were so good that I could've just eaten them with a spoon.

    An afternoon tea layout including a tower of sweet and savory snacks

    Another draw of the Kahala is the spa, so if you're looking for a massage, facial, or mani-pedi, you can get it done right there. We got massages, which helped work out all those knots from being hunched over the computer for the last two years. They take you down to private rooms, which include a changing area and even a big soaker tub, depending on what kind of spa service you've purchased. I didn't take any photos since I left my phone over with my stuff, and also I was too relaxed to remember to snap one afterward. But here's one of the hotel's official images of what the spa rooms look like:

    A room with dark wooden walls, a raised platform, and modern furniture

    If there's one weakness to the Kahala Hotel, it's probably the guest rooms. Don't get me wrong — we got a heck of a room with our upgrade; it was HUGE. The bed was comfy, and it was really nice having a patio/lanai to sit on and sip some coffee in the mornings. But the rooms might be in need of an update soon. The couch in our room was a little worse for wear, probably from people sitting on it in wet swimsuits. But hey, at least there was a couch!

    The four-poster king bed in the room I stayed in, with a striped dresser next to it and shadowbox-framed seashells over the headboard

    I was truly wowed, though, by the bathroom. Sure, the soaker tub was nice. And yes, I loved having a complimentary robe and slippers. But since the Kahala is Japanese-owned and caters to many Japanese guests, our room also had an electric bidet, y'all. This sucker had a HEATED TOILET SEAT, and a remote control for the bidet. It was an experience. I'm not about to show you a photo of the toilet — because, gross — but here's the remote. Look at all those functions! It has a butt dryer!

    A remote control for a Toto Washlet bidet including water pressure and position controls and a button for a dryer

    If you've traveled to Hawaii, you probably know how beautiful and magical and special it is. Part of keeping that intact is making sure that when you visit, you try to shop local! Yes, the resort is great, but there's so much to do and see and — most importantly — eat around the island from small, local businesses. I recommend finding some local Hawaiian BBQ and chowing down; maybe try a Spam musubi if you haven't before (trust me). And of course, you'll want to have some poke and sushi. Once you're fed, maybe take a surf lesson, or check out some of Hawaii's gorgeous museums, or pamper yourself at a local spa to save some money on those resort prices. Oh, and when you do eat or visit the spa at the Kahala Hotel, don't forget to tip well. We all saw White Lotus.

    I forgot to take pictures of literally all of it, but some of the best food I had (with the exception of Arancino) was stuff I had off the resort grounds. 

    Overall, would I recommend the Kahala Hotel & Resort? Yes, but there are some things you'll want to keep in mind.

    A view of the ocean from a man-made peninsula

    Do you have a favorite place to stay in Hawaii? What's your favorite thing you've done there? Let me know in the comments!