YesNoI built some Ikea furniture once
"Man imposing his will on nature with tools" is one of Ron's indicators of greatness.
Crew, high & tight, or buzz cutAnything else
Crew, buzz, and high and tight cuts are the only acceptable hairstyles, according to Ron.
6"< 6"> 6"
According to Ron, anything longer than 6" is capri pants, and anything shorter than 6" is European.
Skim milk is just water that's lying about being milk. Avoid it at all costs.
Fishing is for sport only, as fish meat is "practically a vegetable."
Two secondsThree secondsFour secondsAs long as it takes to establish dominance
A firm, three-second handshake is optimal.
Yeah, tonsOnly during the first 15 minutes of UpOnly at a funeral and/or the Grand Canyon
You also get a pass if you cried when you got hit by a bus or when Lil' Sebastian died.
YesNo, I like to cultivate a manly musk
Having a personal musk "puts your opponents on notice."
1–34–7More than 7
"One to three is sufficient."
Would Ron Swanson Respect You?
It's not that Ron wouldn't respect you at all or anything, it's just that he would think you were a lot like Tom Haverford.
You have a few excellent qualities. Build a canoe and we'll talk.
Your accomplishments can only be matched by Ron himself. Ron would consider you "very adequate."
You are everything that Ron Fucking Swanson would want you to be. You've made Ron proud today. That concludes your praise in this matter.