1. The kid who confidently took over a drawing:
So my 4 year old nephew asked me to draw him Harry Potter, he then excitedly shouted “I’LL DO THE LEGS!!!!”
2. The kid who decided that now — during a global pandemic — is the time to give the toilet paper a bath.
3. The kid who could only think of one solution:
when i was 6 i named my animal crossing character “sex” and couldn’t change it back so panicked, went outside the next day and smashed the game card with a hammer i have lived with this my whole life
4. The kid who had a dangerous hobby:
When my son Seth was little, he would beg his brother to put him in this particular pillow case and swing him around. I know it’s insane and the only reason I’m telling you now is because they are grown up and I can’t lose custody of them
5. The kid who, honestly, came up with a great nickname:
One time when I was like 11 my dad took me to an Italian restaurant and the waiter asked what my name was and I said “Sam but you can call me captain ravioli” and my dad just looked at me and said “what the fuck was that? don’t do that” and I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
6. The kid who didn't get the surprise:
7. The kid who had opinions about accessorizing:
I walk out of Target to the scene of a child laying motionless on the ground. I asked what was wrong and the dad said “He’s upset his gloves match his jacket.”
8. The kid who recognized racial injustice, but got one thing terribly wrong:
9. The kid who made their own rules:
10. The kids in this school:
11. The kid with the BEST Halloween costume idea:
I just want everyone to know that my two-year old insisted on being “pants” for Halloween...
12. The kid who worried his best friend would be too cool for him:
I just remembered that when i got my first dog i was 7 and he was 1 (7 in dog years) and i cried when he turned 2 because i didnt think a 14 year old dog would wanna hangout with me.
13. The kid who invented a new catchphrase:
14. The kid who just wanted to help:
2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?” Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.” 2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?” It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..
15. The kid who learned a lesson:
Daughter didn’t want “sunscream” so I put her outside and yelled “SUN.... GET HER” and now she’s flipping out.
16. The kid who was having a rough day:
Causes of 3-year-old’s meltdowns this morning: -Banana too small -Top of banana slightly squashed -Honey on porridge doesn’t sufficiently resemble “a swimming pool” -Sister had her 1st wee before his 3rd -Doesn’t want scooter -Does want scooter -Something to do with sleeves
17. The kid who achieved the impossible:
My son lost his cello. A cello. A whole cello which is as big as he is. Do you know how big a cello is? How do you lose a cello? I need answers. I don't understand what's happening.
18. The kid who didn't put two and two together:
19. The kid who lost something precious:
20. The kid who was just amazed:
4yo neighbor is thrilled to learn i walk the same dog every day “this looks like this same dog from last time!” “it is!” “DAD ITS THE SAME DOG AS LAST TIME”
21. The kid who made a fair trade:
22. The kid who wanted to keep a close eye on the cooking:
Almost 2yr old for sale. Been crying for 10 mins cuz he cant get in the oven with the cornbread. Entertaining all offers.
23. And finally, the kid who lost a dear, dear friend:
My child is throwing a fit. Reason: Didn't get to see her poop before grandma flushed it down the toilet. Grandma is apologising profusely. Lea is refusing to be assuaged, she just wants her poop back. It's been 20 mins. Did you take your birth control? You're welcome.