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    23 "Archer" Jokes So Funny They'll Put You In The Danger Zone

    "Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass."

    1. Every time Archer brought up "phrasing."

    FX / Via idkcake.tumblr.com

    Cheryl: Goddamn it! Who the hell drilled my box?!

    Archer: So, we're just done with phrasing, right? That's not a thing anymore?

    2. And the times when he didn't even need to.

    FX / Via idkcake.tumblr.com

    Lana: Are you coming?

    Archer: No, but I'm breathing fast.

    3. When Krieger revealed too much.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Krieger: I'm not a serial killer.

    Archer: Wait, why'd you emphasize "serial"?

    4. When Archer learned about Germany's laws.

    FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

    Anke: I am from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.

    Archer: What is it, the Alabama of Europe?

    5. When the situation was this ironic.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Archer: This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morissette had a baby, and named it this exact situation!

    6. When Krieger had the best name for his sex robot.

    FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

    Pam: Tell him about the sex robot!

    Krieger: I call him Fister Roboto.

    7. When Archer found it hard to focus.

    FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

    Katya: What do you see in my eyes?

    Archer: Mostly those insane boobs.

    8. And Pam brought up Katya's boobs, too.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Pam: You blew me off for Katya, the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss...uhh...

    Archer: R2-"Double-D"-2?

    9. When Archer totally dissed karate. And Dane Cook.

    FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

    Cyril: Hey, will I get to learn karate?

    Archer: Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No.

    10. When Slater burned Archer pretty bad.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Slater: So I saw you coming on to Archer. I was just gonna tell you he's had the clap so many times, it's more like applause.

    11. When Archer had to make an ocelot-based pun.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Archer: It's like...Meowschwitz in there.

    12. When these were the actual subtitles when Russian people spoke.

    FX / Via reddit.com

    "Ektual genius plen."

    13. And even better ways of getting out of awkward situations.

    14. Seriously.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Krieger: Smoke bomb!

    15. When Archer could only think of one thing as great as driving a hovercraft.

    FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

    Archer: Seriously, Lana, this must be what it's like to have sex with me.

    16. When Archer didn't take Canadian terrorists very seriously.

    FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

    Lana: At any time in the next 12 hours, this train could be attacked by radical Nova Scotian separatists.

    Archer: Armed with what? Pamphlets about Canada's responsible gun control laws?

    17. When Cheryl lost count of the World Wars.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Cheryl: And now we're like on the brink of World War II.

    Pam: Three.

    Cheryl: It's not a competition, Pam!

    18. When it wasn't really that long a story.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/Cko3B

    Mallory: And since when do you carry a switchblade?

    Archer: It's a long story, mother.

    [sees switchblade in pawn shop]

    Archer: Neat.

    19. When Archer almost saw one of his worst fears.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    Archer: Oh thank god, I thought you were crocodiles.

    Calzado Crocodiles? On a three-wheeler?

    Archer: Right? How scary would that be?

    20. When Archer said a little prayer.

    FX / Via quickmeme.com

    Archer: Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

    21. When there were so, so many Lord of the Rings references.

    Cyril: These are from a doctor!

    Pam: Pill-bo Baggins.

    22. When Lana was 100% done.

    FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

    [faraway screams]

    Lana: Don't even wanna know.

    23. And finally, when Krieger had the best name for a box fort.

    FX / Via imgur.com

    Krieger: Are you addressing me? Because your authority isn't recognized in Fort Kickass.

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