Buzz·Posted on Jun 19, 201618 Tweets With Hilariously Unexpected Endings"Is it 'fleek' or 'on fleek?' I want grandma's eulogy to be just right."by Andy GolderBuzzFeed Staff LinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask? 07:40 PM - 19 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Semi Clean Toilet @ToiletMike Is it "fleek" or "on fleek"? I want grandmas eulogy to be just right. 12:23 PM - 30 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. k e e t @KeetPotato accountant: "youre basically broke" wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff" me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid" 02:44 PM - 27 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Turd Ferguson @generaldietz Me: *nervous giggle* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or what? Drive-thru attendant: Please just take your food, sir. 05:47 PM - 09 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Patrick Walsh @thepatrickwalsh People often ask me, "Patrick, I don't like you." 06:21 PM - 17 Dec 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Scones Mortensen @ThingsJackDigs *cop pulls me over* COP: please blow into this, sir ME: *plays trumpet perfectly* COP: okay you're definitely sober and way cool 07:15 PM - 16 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Joseph Scrimshaw @JosephScrimshaw Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster. 04:55 AM - 10 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Pablo Versace @kylegotjokes My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you" now she just staring at the bushes confused wondering who said that 02:55 AM - 21 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. garbage island kyle @hippieswordfish ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong 01:01 AM - 03 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Truckstop Vigilante @BRENTHOR Yes, judge I do have something to say. If you truly are what you eat then I am an innocent man. Thank you. 05:38 PM - 18 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. k e e t @KeetPotato genie: "thats definitely your last wish?" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] "yes" genie: "ok" our dog: "how can i talk all of a sudden?" 03:13 PM - 29 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats 02:49 AM - 29 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. yung farmer @gojarbe [gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway 01:18 AM - 05 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. sweaty five dollars @iscoff TEACHER: please take off your hat in class *I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat* ME: I can do this 14 more times 04:44 PM - 07 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Derek @ProdigyNelson Her: when you said "magical in bed" this isn't exactly what I was exp- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card Her: *softly* holy shit 02:32 AM - 17 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Frank Whitehouse @WheelTod I was raised as an only child. My siblings took it pretty hard 01:27 PM - 16 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. GoaT FacE @EndhooS *stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset* Sara? *Gets down on one knee* *audible gasp* "Yes?" Help my knee is made of magnets 01:28 PM - 10 Jan 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Br&on the Cow @Brampersandon_ [high school sex ed class] TEACHER: any questions ME: is it true a penis is just an inside out vagina TEACHER: Brandon ur 32 why are u here 02:12 AM - 07 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite