You know Cars, right? It's the kids movie with the cable guy from the Prilosec OTC commercials.
If you haven't seen it, you've at least seen 500 7-year-olds waddling around with Cars backpacks this month alone.
Anyway, Cars is a movie about cars — and I realize there are now three Cars movies, but let's stick to the original here — but these aren't your ordinary cars.
These cars have eyes instead of windshields!
And they have mouths!
Not only that, but they FLIRT and do god knows what else with each other.
Which brings me to the point of this whole thing...
Look! The Top Down Truckstop! This is when Mack and Lightning McQueen are driving to California! What a good, wholesome moment — DEFINITELY a scene right out of a movie for kids. Gotta love it. Gotta love it when movies live up to their G-rating.
Wait a minute, what does that say? SIRI, ENHANCE.
SIRI, ENHANCE AGAIN.
SIRI, ENHANCE AGAIN.
SIRI, ENHANCE ONE MORE TIME.
Just what I thought. "Convertible waitresses."
Convertibles...don't have tops? They're topless. What the...?
So this "Top Down" Truckstop has topless waitresses?
These cars...can get nude?
And the nude cars make other cars horny?
And there are restaurants that cater to these horny cars? — Let's just disregard the fact that these cars eat (???) at restaurants. That's just way too much for me to process right now.
You're probably thinking, "It's a kids movie, relax!"
Well, guess what? I was relaxed, right up until I found out how many horny cars there are in this kids movie!
