(Continued from Above)
Silly Lines....
-I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.
-I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
-Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
-Trees don't fall in the forest when no one's around to hear them. Sometimes they just happen to be on the ground when you see them again.
- I sometimes feel alone and insignificant, especially when people turn out the lights while I'm still in the bathroom.
-A metaphor is like a simile.
-Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.
-A toast to bread, for without bread, there could be no toast.
-An optimist says "Good morning, God", a pessimist says "Good God, morning".
-Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
-A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
-Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Did You KnoW??
-The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
-If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
-No word in the English language rhymes with month.
-One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
-Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
-The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
-The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
-The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
-The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
-The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
-You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
A few more of my favorites...
-The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
-No one dies virgin, Life fucks Everyone...
-My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
-The word 'Politics' is derived from the word 'Poly', meaning 'Many' and the word 'ticks' meaning blood sucking parasites
-Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth
-Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
-Dont steal, the government hates competetion
-The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
blah.. i own an asian sweatshop in my basement.. worked by mexicans who make me quality tacos. Usually they dont cause much trouble, but somtimes the Mexicans steal my water.. blah..