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    23 Problems All Guys With Big Bulges Can Relate To

    It's a hard knock life, but somebody's gotta do it.

    1. Just walking down the street is a bit of a problem, with all the staring and everything.

    2. Your bulge is always the main attraction at a water park when your swimming trunks get wet.

    3. You always have to wear underwear UNDER your swimsuit to hide your built-in floatation device.

    4. Jeans are practically your only pant option.

    Fox Searchlight Pictures

    5. Jogging is bit of a struggle, because no underwear has the tensile strength to keep your member contained.


    6. Shorts are never really an option either.

    7. And while working out and running, you tend to cause a lot of accidents because people are constantly getting distracted by the "dumbbell" in your pants.

    8. You either get dirty stares or looks of wonderment in locker rooms when the other guys see what you're working with.

    Focus Features / Via

    9. On the dance floor, you can't really get your groove on because you have to control your suggestive dance moves.

    10. Every black-tie event feels like you're the one that's on display.

    11. Amusement parks aren't as fun as you'd like them to be because most rollercoasters/rides can be uncomfortable.

    12. Outdoor activities like horse-riding or rock climbing are big no-nos.

    13. If you're a musician or a performer of any kind, the spotlight is not your friend.

    PHIL PENMAN / Splash News

    14. Going commando is totally out of the picture.

    15. In fact, you have to make sure your shirts are extra long in general.

    20th Century Fox
    20th Century Fox

    16. And uptucking doesn't help conceal anything at all.

    17. Everybody assumes you always have a boner.


    And they eventually realise you don't, but the staring continues.

    18. When you're buying condoms and you ask for the extra large ones, people look down there just to make sure.

    19. You know manspreading is bad, but you often don't have a choice.

    20. Actually sitting down in general is a bit of a problem.

    Getty Images

    And crossing one leg over the other doesn't leave for much breathing room.

    21. Playing any kind of sport is kinda uncomfortable.

    22. Any kind of Halloween costume that involves spandex or a tight fit is definitely out of the question.

    23. And you just can't figure out why people keep calling you John Hamm.


    Well, now you know.

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