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The 19 Stages Of A Night Out In Cardiff

The only place you can truly have a bendigedig time.

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1. A night out in the 'Diff may start posh – Say a pricey craft beer at Urban Tap House or stylish Ten Mill Lane cocktails…

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2. …but before long, the night descends to Spoonies for a pre-club top-up.

Instagram: @laurawyncoop

When your mate says "The Prince of Wales", nobody thinks about Prince Charles.

4. Wherever you choose to party, you contemplate getting a taxi there – even if it’s only three minutes away.

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You’ve got to save your energy for dancing.


7. On route to the cash point, you run Valleys tallies.

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The gals: Tangoed, loud, and acting like they’ve never seen a city before. The guys: V-neck, mega cleavage, and an aura of ‘roid farts.


10. There will be a novelty photo sesh on your phone, which you’ll only discover the following day.

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You and a life-size Super Mario, your friend pulling a selfie with a policeman, you pointing at someone dressed as a smurf etc.

12. Shortly after being reunited, one of the group needs a wee.

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For girls, this means a mass migration to the loos and 20 minutes consoling a stranger who's crying her false eyelashes off.


16. It’s 4am, the lights are on, and you’re hungry.

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Devastated, like.


17. Food is a three-way fight: Chippy Lane (Tony's/Dorothy’s) vs Salisbury Road (Mama’s AKA home of Charlie Sheen) vs Maccy Ds.

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18. With a tray of chips in tow, you know every surface is a potential seat.

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Unless the surface is the doorway of a shop on Queen Street, because that’s a pee-covered seat.