1. Britney Spears and Madonna's "Me Against the Music" video from 2003 will always remain at the forefront of my queer journey. The video came out only a few months after their infamous kiss at the 2003 VMA Awards, so as a 10-year-old bi gal in the closet, naturally I was really excited to see what the video would look like.
I wore out my copy of In the Zone on my CD player, and I blasted this song into my headphones any chance I got after school. I also subtly put this song in my mixed CD rotation, so whenever I had sleepovers with my friends in my basement, I turned it up at the maximum volume (it eventually became one of my songs with a childhood friend). Anytime my friend and I heard "Me Against the Music" in the wild, like on the radio or at another sleepover party, we dropped everything we were doing and danced like absolute maniacs.
We jolted in every corner of whatever room we were in, pretending we were Britney and Madonna in that wooden dance hall looking for each other. It remains one of my favorite childhood memories, and an important moment and music video from my gay millennial childhood (even though my relationship with my friend was 100% platonic).
Watch the music video here:
View this video on YouTube
2. I've been a Jennifer Lopez fan ever since I can remember — my sister is a few years older than I am, so I've always felt ahead of the curve when it comes to music. I was memorizing J.Lo's lyrics from "Ain't It Funny" and "Jenny from the Block" in elementary school looooong before I knew what any of it actually meant — regardless, she always grabbed my attention with whatever she released.
In the beginning of "Get Right," one of J.Lo's many alter-egos is on the phone in the bathroom with her friend — she says, "I'm at the gay club. I'll call you when I'm done." I grew up in a town where "gay" was used as an insult, and that type of environment influenced me to suppress my queerness for a very long time. So, when I heard J.Lo say this in her "Get Right" music video, it grabbed my attention in the best way possible.
At the gay club there were a bunch of big screens showing the "real" J.Lo dancing like nobody's business, cane and 2000s outfit in tow. Then we saw J.Lo's many alter-egos hanging out at the club, all with various occupations and personalities — my eyes didn't leave the screen for a single second as I soaked in every ounce of queerness.
Watch the music video here:
View this video on YouTube
3. There isn't just one Avril Lavigne music video that made me realize, "Hey, I like boys and girls," but rather, it was a mix of her persona and attitude in her "Sk8er Boi" and "Complicated" videos. These videos made me relate to her in a way I hadn't in other artists (or people, for that matter). Growing up in the 2000s, my style was somewhere in-between traditionally feminine and "sporty," and when I watched Avril be a true punk-rocker in those videos, she also seemed to fit somewhere in that category.
She rocked neckties and an IDGAF attitude in her music videos, which is the kind of energy I had 96% of the time as a kid, and ultimately influenced my style and behavior. "Complicated" and "Sk8er Boi" were one of the first times I remember seeing a celebrity in a video and thinking, "I want that outfit. I want to look just like her!" Avril inspired me to wear my baseball hats backward, and even steal one of my dad's neckties from his closet in the fourth grade.
Avril Lavigne was everywhere during my elementary and middle school days, confirming and comforting my bisexuality. I remember going to a friend's birthday party at some venue where they'd play a popular song over a loud speaker and we got to record our own music video for it. When my friend decided that "Sk8er Boi" was the song, my closeted self was SO excited.
Watch the "Complicated" music video here:
View this video on YouTube
And watch the "Sk8er Boi" music video here:
View this video on YouTube
4. The time has come to discuss Mýa's "My Love Is Like...Wo" music video from 2003 (I'm learning 2003 was apparently a big queer year for me). It remains one of the most important videos from my childhood, and earns a spot in my personal Top 20 list of things that I loved as a child, but in retrospect, are queer as heck. I know this is a life-changing music video among many queer girls of the 2000s, so it's only right to give it the love it deserves in this post. Let's get to it (one, two, three, four!).
From Mýa's outfit changes to her unique choreography to the context of the song, this music video immediately grabbed my 10-year-old self's attention. I remember feeling giddy as heck whenever it came on MTV after school because it meant that I got to watch Mýa 1. smoke a cigar 2. dance in multiple colorful suits and 3. sing a song about sex for four minutes straight — life couldn't possibly get better!!!
"My Love Is Like...Wo" was a pivotal piece of art in my queer adolescence — a beautiful woman wearing traditionally male outfits while completely owning her sexuality? A million times YES. This music video is also the North Star to my infatuation with famous women wearing suits, an obsession that has only grown as I've gotten more comfortable with my bisexuality as an adult.
Watch the music video here:
View this video on YouTube
5. "Take Me Away" from 2003's Freaky Friday is a queer rock anthem that still makes me go absolutely nuts! When I saw Freaky Friday in theaters with my friend, I felt the need to hide my excitement when I saw Lindsay Lohan (Anna) and Christina Vidal (Maddie) rocking the hell out in the garage after school. Anna and Maddie playing off of each other's energy while scream-singing "take me awaaaayyyy" with such 2000s teen angst was one of the most badass things I had ever seen.
I remember buying the Freaky Friday soundtrack at Sam Goody a few days after seeing the movie just to listen to "Take Me Away." Growing up I shared a room with my older sister, so whenever she wasn't there, I put the soundtrack on our stereo and fantasized about what it'd be like to be a member of Pink Slip (but mostly, what it'd be like to be Maddie's girlfriend).
Every gay millennial knows this song by heart, especially when Pink Slip played it at their House of Blues gig the night of Tess's rehearsal dinner. I was beyond nervous because oh man, would Anna (aka Tess) be able to pull off the guitar solo in front of all those people?! But alas, she did, and once my nerves settled, I was able to focus on my childhood crush: Maddie.
Watch the full scene here:
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6. For any bi gal who's attracted to middle-aged women, they know with 100% certainty that Madonna's "Hung Up" music video from 2005 was a pivotal moment in gay millennial history. Madonna dancing alone in her pink leotard at the ballet studio? The splits? The dance up against the mirror? It was a lot for my middle school brain to comprehend in the best way possible.
As a middle schooler, I practiced the "hands against the mirror" choreography in my basement while the rest of my family was upstairs either watching TV or doing homework. I wanted to have this routine down-pat and in my arsenal, just in case "Hung Up" came on at a sleepover or dance party, and I could impress my friends with Madonna's iconic moves (yes, that's what I considered "impressing" my friends).
I used to watch this video on MTV and think, "I want to be just like Madonna, but I also want to be with her? Is that a thing?" (later on in my adulthood I learned that that feeling was one of the biggest and truest bi stereotypes 😇). But, I didn't dare speak it into existence because I'm a deeply anxious person, and at the time I was afraid of what my friends and family would think.
I developed a well-known "hatred" toward Madonna for most of my life, and looking back now, I realized I did so because I was masking my queer admiration for her — I didn't feel comfortable to admit she confirmed my bisexuality. Thankfully, that all changed when I came out in 2019.
Watch the music video here:
View this video on YouTube
7. And last, but certainly not least: It's time to talk about 2000s Beyoncé. I'm not being dramatic when I say I can't remember my life without her in it — I was going into kindergarten when Destiny's Child released their debut album in 1998, and I was lucky enough to grow up in the era of "Bootylicious" and "Say My Name." I was devastated when they broke up, so when Beyoncé embarked on her solo career in 2003, I was hella excited.
Dangerously in Love dropped the summer I was going into fifth grade, and naturally, my siblings and I wore the CD out. It was our go-to music for car rides long and short, and we memorized lyrics to "Crazy in Love" and "Baby Boy" like it was our full-time jobs. Then, like the true queen she is, Beyoncé dropped music videos to accompany these iconic songs, and when the "Baby Boy" video hit TRL for the first time in 2003, my bi heart was out of control.
Watching Beyoncé totally own her sexuality while dancing in front of the ocean, then in the sand, and then on top of that fur blanket covered in oil was everything I didn't know my queer-self needed. Sean Paul was featured on the song, so naturally he made an appearance in the video, but "Baby Boy" was one of the first instances where I watched something and kept my eyes focused solely on the woman instead of the man.
As with many of the music videos in this post, I immediately wanted to learn every ounce of choreography Beyoncé showed off. She completely owned her sexuality, voice, and body in "Baby Boy," and she inspired me to explore my own body. I distinctly remember listening to this song on my CD player in my living room, trying to nail her iconic "dancing in the sand" choreo on my hardwood floor, and popping my head up every few seconds to see if my family was watching.
Watch the music video here:
