"Sherlock Holmes" And "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea" Reimagined As Gay Love Stories

Thanks to the astounding popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey’s witless eroticism, Total-E-Books will publish a series of classic novels with the addition of new sex scenes. The series of ebooks called Clandestine Classics includes tales of Sherlock and Watson’s gay love affair; Jane Eyre’s sexual submissiveness; and Mr. Darcy’s naughty attempts to screw Elizabeth Bennett in the meadow. Here are some excerpts.

1. In “Sherlock Holmes,” Watson and Holmes must solve a horrifying murder mystery. Watson is scared, but “the love he feels for Holmes, and the sexual experiences they share, help him to remain level-headed until the killer is caught.”

3. “Northanger Abbey” delivers the tale of Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney’s secret nighttime trysts — “[a] world where sex knows no boundaries and even her deepest, most secret fantasies, can be played out behind closed doors.”

5. In “Pride and Prejudice” Elizabeth Bennett is at first turned off by Mr. Darcy’s arrogance. But “sexual tension soon leads to an unexpected kiss and Elizabeth’s world is turned upside down.” (Read: they have sex outside.)

7. “Jane Eyre” comes with steamy scenes about Jane’s sexual submission to Mr. Rochester, “her one and true master.”

9. In “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea,” Professor Pierre Aronnax ends up a hostage alongside harpooner Ned Land, “a sexy and temperamental harpooner who has his sights set on the Professor.”

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