9 Very Complicated Diva Outfits From London’s Wireless Festival

Jessie J., Rihanna, and many more performed in London’s Hyde Park wearing more layers, nail art, and statement hosiery than we’ve seen in the past 12 issues of Nylon combined. Let’s take a look at their wild performance attire.

1. Jessie J.

It’s the JORTS, people.

No longer is it enough to wear a pair of jean shorts that are missing a waistband, ripped, and bedazzled. No longer is it enough to wear jean shorts that are dramatically fringed. Now, with so many jort styles exhausted, divas must turn to creatively engineering their jorts. When we look at them we must wonder things like, how is that Daffy Duck beach towel attached to her bottoms? And, do those tights go inside the leg hole or are they attached to the bottom of the jorts via garter? Looks like this are a lot of work for all of us, really.

2. Rihanna

Rihanna is dressing fabulously weirdly in the best way lately.

Like, this outfit looks like it was crafted entirely from bedspread displays at Bed Bath & Beyond. I absolutely love how little sense it makes.

And how she wore it in front of a big gold pharaoh. (To be fair, live snakes have been done.)

3. Cher Lloyd

This up-and-coming artist is a sign of how much the times have changed in diva clothing land. It used to be enough to slip on a sparkly leotard and a pair of support hose and call it a day. But now a diva outfit is not complete without some hairy stuff hanging off it. And lace-up ankle boots.

4. Girls sitting in the mud.

Oh. This looks fun.

5. Nicki Minaj

It’s hard to be sure but it looks like she’s wearing a Muppet shrug and skirt made of patterned baby diaper fabric, which I guess would be waterproof and help prevent staining should she have to go near the mud people.

6. Wiz Khalifa

Even the guys these days have to perform wearing a custom-printed item and 27 layers. The stylish Wiz even broke out his wrap skirt.

7. Rita Ora

I guess she didn’t realize that from the side this top had the potential to look like it said “FART-04.”

8. Rita Ora

Apparently pants are the new books — made to be read by anyone willing to bother!

Ombre stiletto nails. Now that is commitment to eccentricity.

9. Santigold

Like the pro she is, Santigold shows the younger girls what’s up. No one else would have thought to use thick blue yarn as sleeve fringe and a bow tie.

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