According to New York City writer-comedian Kyle Ayers, he was hanging out on his Brooklyn rooftop when a couple arrived on said roof and began breaking up.
Kyle did what any sane human would do, given the circumstances. He live-tweeted their breakup.
There's an entire subplot devoted to "Girl" wanting to move in with "Guy."
There's some wonderful meta commentary.
And some common communication flaws.
There's some good old-fashioned incoherence.
And some real self-reflection.
There's a great "text from my co-worker" subplot.
And the standard "I just sometimes want to hang out with my friends" issue, familiar to anyone in a relationship.
There's a precise tally of lies...
And this common frustration.
Oh, right. Back to the cohabitation subplot.
At this point, Rachel probably called "Guy" immature because:
And we can only assume that, affected by the mid-November New York chills, Rachel was shivering because:
More incoherence. Classic Rachel.
Meanwhile this dude is stress-smoking like crazy.
Both parties are demanding answers now.
But Guy is a seasoned expert at beating around the bush.
More answers demanded!
More bushes beat around!
The couple's astute powers of observation lead them to notice their live-tweeter.
Oh, yeah! Almost forgot about the pesky texting coworker!
All the heartbreak has Guy feeling a little peckish.
+10 points to Rachel.
As she walks away, our beloved Rachel is incoherent one final time.