Ranking Amy Sherman-Palladino's Difficult Men By Likability

If you’re here, you probably already know the drill: Amy Sherman-Palladino is well known for her fast-talking female protagonists who reside in a world brimming with difficult (often emotionally unavailable) male characters that usually pale in comparison to their greatness. And as I’ve already taken the time to pit all those marvelous and flawed women against one another for my own ranked amusement, it’s only fair I now give ASP’s men the same treatment. So fresh off a third rewatch of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, here is my ranking of Amy Sherman-Palladino’s male characters by likability (or complete lack thereof). 

Note: Once again, I have excluded any character who only appears in one episode of a show, and will also once again be ignoring Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life in this list (and in my daily life). I also cut anyone who didn't give us enough character to even form an impression, negative or not. My sincerest apologies if your obscure favorite ended up on the chopping block!

Spoilers below. 

It took me longer than it took Dean to leave his new wife to come up with a semi-positive intro for this character…whoops. Here at BuzzFeed, we’re not shy about our feelings toward Dean Forester. From his emotional manipulation to his uncomfortably controlling tendencies, I think one of the most positive things I can say about Dean is he was always around to have a weirdly intimate chat with his girlfriend’s mom. Seriously, I know boundaries are a shaky subject in Stars Hollow, but Lorelai and Dean did not need to have THAT many heart to hearts. As you’ll learn later on, I am first and foremost a Logan Girl™, so the one area where I’ll cut Dean some slack is with Jess. Even prior to Rory cheating on Dean with Jess, she’s crushing on him so obviously that it almost makes some of Dean’s more jealous behavior understandable. Key word: almost. 

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I know he ended up being thoroughly irrelevant and dying off at an opportune time for Paris to really come into her own in college (briefly, you know, before the whole newspaper meltdown situation), but Asher Fleming gives me the ick like almost no other ASP man. It’s bad enough for him to start up a relationship with Paris — while she is still technically dating Jamie, I might add — but when we find out that he has a new age-gap centric fling pretty much every semester? Jail. And no matter what he claims to Rory about remaining unbiased as her professor, he was 100% trying to pad her grade into silence surrounding the entire Paris situation. At least he had the decency to die soon enough to let Paris have a “normal” few years of college. Blegh.

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I recall really liking Jackson in the earlier seasons of Gilmore Girls. He has a vague tendency to steamroll/sneak attack Sookie on mild to mid-tier issues, including but not limited to: making Sookie’s pregnancy announcement all about him and his freak out, inviting his annoying brother to stay with them for Sookie’s birth to their first child and agreeing to throw a baptism for both of their kids to make his mother happy. But I was willing to overlook all that because Jackson’s somewhat bumbling, "funny farmer" bit really charmed me if I’m being honest. That was until it was revealed that Jackson had lied about getting a vasectomy and secretly got his wife pregnant against her explicit wishes. Need I even argue the case for this bottom-rung ranking any further? 

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If you've read this post's predecessor, you'll know that I reside firmly in the Lane-Kim-deserved-better camp, and can thus assume my feelings toward this man — no, this boy. Because no matter how old he gets, Zack Van Gerbig will always be a boy. There's so much I could rip Zack apart for, from that time his ego was so inflated he blew up the band and his and Lane's relationship in the same night to his penchant for siding with Mrs. Kim in practically every conflict between her and her daughter, but I think all of Zack's transgressions can be summed up into my one overarching problem with him: He ruined Lane's future. Because of him, Lane's stuck with three babies to take care of for the rest of her life. So even if Zack weren't also rude, arrogant, and consistently an inconsistent boyfriend/husband — I mean, seriously, just write your girlfriend a song every once in awhile — I could never forgive him for sidetracking Lane Kim's life and trapping her in Stars Hollow forever. 

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Of all the Gilmore Girls men who loved to manic-pixie-dream-girl-ify Rory, I think Marty manic-pixie-dream-girl-ified her the hardest. I have my qualms with so many of Rory’s choices, but her trying to establish a quirky and fun platonic friendship with the dude she meets naked in her hallway is actually not one of them. Marty almost saved his own ranking by bowing out semi-gracefully when Rory reveals that it’s Logan, and not her movie-marathoning pal that she has the hots for, but then he screws it all up again when he finally does get the girl. Admittedly, that Season 7 friend group was destined to be toxic before Boyfriend ever showed his face, and why in the world Rory would go along with his weird scheme, I, nor Logan, will never understand, but Marty’s unabashedly awful behavior toward the women in his life is even bad by ASP standards, which is really saying something.

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Listen, I’m sorry, but I cannot stand Michel. I’ve just never gotten his whole schtick. I understand that he’s going for a cold exterior, fuzzy interior sort of thing, but he’s too much of a squeaky wheel in Sookie and Lorelai’s lives, both professionally and personally, for me to let him get away with it. He hardly ever comes through for Lorelai and then turns around and expects lavish dog funerals and unconditional forgiveness when his newly delivered motorhome ruins the Dragonfly’s chance of getting on the cover of a prestigious magazine. Is he even a financial partner in the inn, or is he just included in all the decision-making because everyone knows he’ll throw a total tantrum if he isn’t? Either way, Michel is one ASP man I could do entirely without. 

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Look, I get that Brad didn't deserve Paris' harsh treatment throughout high school, but in Paris' defense, I really don't like him either. I'm glad the real Adam Wylie left to go be in Into The Woods for real. I'm sure Brad made a much better companion to Milky White than he did as a Chilton student. 

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Of all the random stars that make an appearance in Stars Hollow, Nick Offerman's Beau may just be my favorite. That being said, between his impatience surrounding Sookie giving birth and his persistent harassment of Lorelai, Beau is pretty garbage. Maybe it runs in Jackson's family... 

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Points to Taylor for clearly caring, but I simply cannot stand that man. And I know, that’s pretty much the whole point of him, but if he’s designed to make me hate him, then let me! Pick an occasion, any occasion, any day of the week, and you’d find Taylor Doose making things more difficult for everyone involved. It’d perhaps be acceptable if Taylor was motivated by anything beyond money, but 95% of the time, it’s always about his bottom line. 

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This one may be controversial, but I don’t consider Mitchum Huntzberger to be all that bad in the grand scheme of things. For starters, all the drama at that first awkward Huntzberger family dinner Rory attends has absolutely nothing to do with him. And then he tries to smooth over his family’s mistakes with the olive branch of a prestigious internship that Rory is entirely underqualified for. Sure, he totally blew up Rory’s self-confidence when he declared her mediocre and lacking. But ask yourself: Was he wrong? He has a whole roster of undeniable flaws as a father, sure, but what Gilmore Girls dad doesn’t? Say what you will about Mitchum, but he definitely isn’t the worst of the ASP bunch. 

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Logically, I do know Christopher sucks. I know this, I understand from practically every angle, he’s a pretty terrible guy. He only comes through for Lorelai on the rarest of self-serving occasions, and he’s pretty much not in Rory’s life at all (he doesn’t even show up at her high school graduation!) But all this evidence doesn’t stop me from having a massive crush on the guy, which I’m sure is at least partially responsible for his non-bottom-of-the-barrel ranking. In defense of my objectively-trash opinion, I feel like Christopher partially redeems himself in the seventh season with how hard he tries to make things work with Lorelai. Yes, another case of a man trying to rush a Gilmore girl down the aisle — shouldn’t they all know a little better? I think, ultimately, Christopher’s most glaring character flaw is his pride, and he could never quite recover from that very first rejection from Lorelai back when they were just 16, which is why he kept trying to pressure her to commit again and again, and couldn't settle for anything less than the perfect marriage. Anyway, feel free to yell at me in the comments on this one, I promise I’m at least a little self-aware.  

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Archie took Joel blowing up his own marriage as inspiration, and that's pretty much all you need to know about the not-so-sweet, thoroughly simple guy.  

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As someone with an older brother, I have absolutely zero patience for Charlie’s exasperated brother bit. Also, someone give him the memo about hitting on your sister’s friends, immediately! We see Melanie exhibit a range of protective and loving-sibling-esque tendencies towards Charlie, and yet that effort seems to be rarely (if ever) returned. Lamest brother of the year award goes to him. 

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I understand we're all team Dave Rygalski here, but can you really blame Young Chui for falling for Lane? I mean, she's the total package AND her mom would've let them date. He definitely shouldn't have dumped his girlfriend for Lane and started trying to compete with Dave, but come on, for a minute there he was such a trooper! Young Chui is okay in my book. Sorry, Dave... 

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I’m going to be frank here. My brother is a former magician and my upbringing has left me less than stoked about the craft, so maybe that explains my lack of affection for Alfie. I don’t get it, is he actually magical? Then why can’t he magically get his act together for his poor, sweet manager? Whatever’s going on with him, I do hope we get to see him sober long enough to put his skills to better use than embarrassing Midge’s entire family in Season 5. 

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Max Medina definitely didn’t deserve to get stood up at the altar like that, but I will say, I have a hard time finding a whole lot of empathy for the guy. I just think, when you start semi-inappropriately dating your new student’s mother and impulsively propose as a solution to you two not being able to figure out how to make the relationship work…you’re kind of setting yourself up for total disaster. That all being said, Max seems like a decent guy who hopefully sought out some professional help and has since moved on from Lorelai. 

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I often wonder what would have happened if Dawson’s Creek and One Tree Hill hadn't come calling for Chad Michael Murray in the midst of his Gilmore Girls days. Tristan was, undeniably, the hybrid blueprint for Jess Mariano and Logan Huntzberger. And as I am team Logan first, followed closely by team Jess, I can’t help but have a soft spot for the very first moody, argumentative rich boy to antagonize Rory Gilmore. Plus, say what you will about Tristan, but he sniffed out Dean’s garbage behavior real quick — even if his motivations for hating Dean weren’t entirely unselfish. He’s certainly no prince (or Romeo, for that matter), but Tristan Dugray is alright in my book. 

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I'm not a Jess Girl and I've never been a Jess Girl, but I do get the appeal of the whole bad-boy-who-reads bit. Unfortunately, the internet’s favorite secretly sensitive second boyfriend of Rory Gilmore really doesn't age well. The swoon-worthy tactics of a 17-year-old Jess Mariano start to look a lot more red-flag-laden when you yourself are no longer a teen. He generally sucks at communicating. While Dean leaned more toward bombarding Rory with voicemails, Jess preferred not to call at all half the time. I don’t know that he ever uttered the words “I’m sorry” in a non-sarcastic tone. He’s incessantly rude to Lorelai (biggest red flag, in my opinion, even if Lorelai on occasion deserved it!) and, oh yeah, he crashed Rory’s car… And I get that Jess had a lot going on in his personal life, but the way he dips out on Rory without even saying goodbye? Inexcusable. 

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Poor Josh, an actual example of a good first boyfriend (take notes, Rory). Unfortunately, as is the trope, regardless of how good he is, the first boyfriend must be sacrificed for the plot. But I truly appreciate just how supportive and respectful Josh is of Ginny’s “girl time.” 

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Goth boyfriend? Meet moody goth girlfriend. He’s giving us almost nothing, which lands Roman in the decidedly okay camp. 

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Brian Fuller is just...fine. He's fine, he's not great, he's not terrible. One time he wrote that song called "Lane" for Lane, that was, I'll admit, pretty sweet of him. He's one of those characters who in theory I'd like to learn more about, but I'm not convinced the new character developments would necessarily be positive. He's got some real Reddit energy, and I'm not sure if that's a positive or a negative at this point, so we'll just classify him as fine. 

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We love a himbo circa 2012! Plus, anyone that’s extra nice to Boo is okay in my book.

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What really can be said about Jamie? Naturally, Paris Geller would have this Princeton prince charming as her first boyfriend and drop him like a course that features open-notes tests the second she inevitably outgrows him. Dare I say Jamie deserved better? Perhaps. From what little signs of good character we do get — he doesn't leave Paris after she claims (on public television) that having sex with him was the reason she was rejected to Harvard, he shows up to Yale on his birthday despite Paris' best efforts to ghost him, he never does anything explicitly bad (the bar is on the floor, y'all...)  — we can assume he's a decent, and undoubtedly patient, guy. 

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We all know that nobody could ever fill Dave Rygalski's shoes, but Hep Alien's second guitar player honestly kind of rocks. Gil's just a guy who likes to shred, holds down a solid job at a sandwich shop he may or may not own, and totally loves his wife and kids. He performs a mean rendition of "Hollaback Girl" and pretty consistently supports Lane, even when her other bandmates (namely Zack) refuse to listen to her objectively great ideas. What a guy... 

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Even after a full season of his presence, I remain unsure of Boise’s overall vibe. On the one hand, I love a man who can be easily bullied by women. On the other, prior to Midge’s arrival, it's obvious he wasn’t an absolute gem. But it seems like he made some real progress under Mrs. Maisel’s tutelage. Since it's unclear at this time whether we'll get more of Boise in the fifth and final season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I'll base this rating mostly on our final impression of him: ushering everyone out as the police raid his club while comparing himself to a musician aboard the Titanic. (Do we think the ‘60s was still too soon?) Overall, I'd say Boise is decidedly a decent, if occasionally misguided, man. 

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You know, I’ve read a lot of thinkpieces about Joel Maisel and his astounding mediocrity/toxicity/idiocy, and I guess I’m just as gullible as Midge because no evidence has managed to sway me against him. I love Joel Maisel and I’m only a little afraid to say it. Did he ruin his perfectly good marriage because of his deep-rooted insecurities over the fact that his wife was funnier and more charming than him? Yes. Does it still make me swoon when he comes to Midge’s defense or refers to her as his wife during any of the many screaming matches he’s gotten into with Susie? Also yes. Am I just now realizing that my incessant crushes on both Christopher Hayden and Joel Maisel despite their objective awfulness probably indicate I need to do further self-reflection? Maybe… Regardless, I may be one of the only Maisel fans still stoked on ASP’s pretty obvious plan to reunite Joel and Midge at the end of Season 5, but if you too are still harboring hopes for a reunion, sound off in the comments (if you dare). 

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As we learned from many a bachelor/bachelorette party episode throughout the seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, throwing a solid party in Stars Hollow is no easy feat. So points to Kyle, Dean's pretty much otherwise irrelevant bestie, for pulling it off. It's not his fault the evening ended with a drunken Dean crying out for Rory... And then, of course, there's the whole injured-Navy-soldier-with-a-hook-for-a hand-thing...did we all breeze past that storyline in Season 4, or was it just me? Anyway, Kyle's pretty much there for Dean through it all, and never once seems to hold that time Dean trashed his house party over his best pal's head, which most definitely makes him a stronger (if not better) person than me. 

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I know, I know, I'm breaking my own rules with this one. But considering we get some significant character development in his one and only episode, I'm going to go ahead and give Hubbel his time to shine here. As far as I can tell, beyond being a little too obsessed with (and borderline stalking) Michelle, Hubbel was at least an okay guy (I understand outside of the ASP universe, this would be a bigger red flag, but like I said before, the bar is really on the floor, y'all). Everyone in town seems to love him, and even Michelle comes around to him eventually, first when she agrees to impulse marry him, and then later, after his unfortunate-but-necessary-for-the-plot death. Maybe he wronged Truly? But she clearly doesn't hold whatever happened between them against him. His biggest flaw beyond the stalker stuff is maybe just being too boring, and dying on his new bride at quite an inopportune time... R.I.P. Hubbel. 

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TJ is sweet, loyal, and despite messing most things up, is always trying his best. He’s Liz’s champion and an unbridled pain in Luke’s…neck, and I’ve got nothing but love for him. 

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For the purposes of Doyle, let me once again remind you that I formally do not consider Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life to be canon. It is my oh so humble (and correct) belief that if Rory and Paris weren’t going to eventually realize that perhaps their incredibly dependent and complicated friendship was a little less than purely platonic, then Doyle is Paris’ perfect match. Beneath his whiny, egotistical shell, Doyle is just a short king, standing in front of a much smarter and more powerful woman, promising to love her and let her shine forever.

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I’m a total sucker for some fun side friend characters, and Colin and Finn fit the bill perfectly. As long as you can overlook their misogynistic, womanizing tendencies, who wouldn’t love a pair of besties who are down to legally adopt you at the drop of a hat? And that loyalty extends to Rory too, the second they realize how Logan feels about her they’re ready to move furniture upon her request. Sorry, these two Life And Death Brigaders are my favorite problematic pair. 

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This wonderful joke set-up of a duo never really got their dues in my opinion. Archie and David's unlikely friendship was just so perfectly Stars Hollow, from their poorly timed late night strolls through the town square to their deep dislike of Taylor Doose, I've got nothing but love for these two.

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I go back and forth quite frequently regarding my feelings toward Richard Gilmore. As much leeway as I am willing to lend Emily, I’m more hesitant to forgive Richard for his missteps in fatherhood. Especially when you can see how much better he could have been when he starts to put in a real effort with Rory. He gets points for being a solid, dependable, and even, dare I say, great(?) husband to Emily in the later seasons of Gilmore Girls — that is, if you can overlook the whole Pennilyn Lott thing. In Amy’s world of imperfect father figures, I’d classify Richard Gilmore as the embodiment of wasted potential. And yet, he’ll still forever hold a spot, albeit a small one, in my heart. 

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Much in the same way I can’t quite pin down his wife’s vibe, Moishe Maisel is a tough cookie to crack. He’s a chaotic businessman who lets his money worries seep into almost every aspect of his life, but he, much like his wife, seems to care quite a bit about his grandfather duties, and can also have his moments as a father to Joel, and for that, he has my respect. 

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Shy almost didn’t make it on this list simply because I don’t really know who he is. But at face value, he’s charming, funny, and often opts to be less cruel than he could be. Let’s face it, he could’ve ruined Midge’s career entirely, run her out of New York altogether. And considering she outed him at his own gig (albeit somewhat inadvertently) in the name of having a solid set, perhaps he should’ve…  

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If I had to pick any of the emotionally and often physically distant ASP fathers to have, it would 100% be Abe Weissman. Sure, the man is riddled with flaws. He didn’t notice when his wife left him to move to Paris, he seems to know very little about his live-in daughter’s life by choice and he absolutely believes the world revolves around him, a trait he definitely passed down to his dear daughter. And yet? I can’t help it, I adore him. He has some intangible trait that has hooked both Rose Weissman and me successfully, and now the man is free to go on unwarranted rants and clack away on his typewriter in the bathtub for as long as he likes. 

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Is there a sweeter, taller unsung hero than Babette's knight in a black pork pie hat? I personally love a silent king, especially when paired with a bubbly, chatty wife who he undoubtedly adores. Morey is a great guy, which is probably why as the show goes on, he fades deeper into the background of Stars Hollow, but when we do catch glimpses of him, he's usually doing what he loves: strolling around town with his wife. 

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Reggie had his friend and client’s back and never put up with any of Midge’s (or Susie’s, for that matter) crap. He’s respectable, professional, and can sing just as sweetly as (if not sweeter than) Shy. What’s not to love? 

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I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times (and I am sorry to Luke for this opinion), Jason Stiles is Lorelai Gilmore’s perfect match. If only she hadn’t been too stubborn to let go of the whole lawsuit thing (which felt very justified in my opinion!!!), these two would’ve had a beautiful, if not a little odd, life together. Jason is smart, funny, surprisingly kind, and just quirky enough to be a real leading man in the world of ASP. It definitely doesn't hurt that I love Chris Eigeman, and clearly, Amy does too, as he makes an appearance in all three ASP projects (though in this list, his limited roles in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Bunheads, unfortunately, ended up on the chopping block). As far as I’m concerned, Jason Stiles and his weirdo dog both reside firmly in the “deserved better” camp. 

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In the thrashing sea of mediocre men who populate the ASP universe, Kirk Gleason is an unexpected lighthouse. Sure, he’s unpredictable, incredibly quirky, and irrational, but he also clearly cares deeply for everyone in town, in his own unique way. We know he’s a hard worker from the many, many jobs he’s had, and we know he loves animals, even when they don’t like him, another green flag. And most importantly, Kirk is a wonderful partner to Lulu, who, if you’ve read my ranking of the fast-talking women who fill up Amy Sherman-Palladino’s world, you’ll know I feel particularly affectionate toward. 

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Sure, they’re a little rough around the edges, perhaps violent on occasion, most definitely going to come knocking on Susie’s door for something in Season 5, but no matter how many arms they twist — to put it lightly — Nicky and Frank are undeniably lovable. You just want ‘em in your corner, don’t you? Just make sure you can pay them back for all that loyalty when the time comes… 

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I'm only going to say this one more time: Let! Caesar! Keep! Bananas! In! The! Fridge! It's a good idea, a great one even. We never really get to see the true depths of his contribution, but based on Luke's general state of frazzled-ness, I get the feeling that Caesar is really carrying Luke's Diner on his own back. He's friendlier, frequently funnier, and a completely comparable chef to Luke, and yet he's so often relegated to the offscreen kitchen. Shoutout to Caesar, sorry you couldn't name that salad after yourself, king...

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The OG Short King!  #Barlforever

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I think Susie is much better suited to tell you about Jackie than I am. What a good friend! Take notes, Midge. 

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You know by now that I’m definitely not a Dean Girl, I’m slightly more surprisingly not a Jess Girl, which leaves only one (great) option left for me: Logan Huntzberger. That’s right, I love Logan and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of it! He is undeniably the best of Rory’s boyfriends, though to be fair, that says very little. Logan gets off to what some might consider a rocky start, but right off the bat, it’s incredibly clear how much he respects Rory and views her as his equal. He’s only ever just enough of a jerk to remain interesting, and never, for example, crashes Rory’s car, or gets married and then cheats on his wife with her… He also has the most character growth of everyone on Gilmore Girls second to maybe Luke, and by the end that snobby rich Yale student persona has practically disappeared (along with the majority of his trust fund). Yeah, his family frequently causes Rory to spiral, but that’s between them and Rory, if we’re being honest here. You can hate on the posh persona all you’d like, but deep down, I think we can all agree that Logan is undeniably likable. 

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I’ll admit I’ve been avoiding Lenny on this list. There’s just nothing witty I could write that would impress him OR do him justice, if I’m being honest with myself. I used to just love him for his charm and very, very pretty eyes. And then I loved him even more for that almost-perfect first kiss with Midge, But after that speech at the end of Season 4, I’m becoming increasingly nervous that the show intends to toy with Lenny Bruce’s actual timeline and take him away from us just as he’s cemented his spot in our hearts.

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Sometimes I wonder if Dave Rygalski’s saving grace as a character is that he left Stars Hollow too soon. If he’d stuck around any longer, I suspect he would’ve begun to reveal some toxic tendencies more typically aligned with an ASP man. Luckily for us, Dave’s brief but glorious stint on Gilmore Girls was just the right amount of time for us to see the man Lane Kim really deserved before he was taken away from us forever. From his willingness to play hymns on the guitar for hours just to sit in close proximity with the girl he was crushing on, to his brave and beautiful speech to Mrs. Kim when he finally revealed his intentions to Lane, in what little time he had, Dave Rygalski definitely raised the bar for boyfriends everywhere, both onscreen and off. 

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Say it with me, y’all: Benjamin! Deserved! Better! You know he’s handsome and charming because he convinced me, if only for a brief second, to let go of my Midge + Joel reunion dreams during Season 2. Benjamin Ettenberg would have given Midge the world if she had bothered to ask for it! And she never ever bothered! I sort of feel like I can’t actually talk about him anymore because I’m getting so worked up. If Joel and Mei really end up being end game, then I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a Benjamin comeback in Season 5, or…spinoff, anyone?

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I left Luke to write last, not because I suspected he’d be the hardest to tackle, but just the opposite. How can you not love the curmudgeon who built Lorelai both a chuppah and an ice rink for her front yard? The skeptic who held onto the horoscope Lorelai gave him the very first time they met? The man that showed up for Rory, every time her own father didn’t. Who bought and then unbought and then rebuilt a house for Lorelai…in the ASP cinematic universe, Luke Danes is (almost) as good as they come. 

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Don't worry, buddy, nobody likes to be watched while they eat. Despite all his lovable quirks, Paul Anka manages to be one of the most stabilizing forces in Lorelai's life in later seasons. Her surrogate child when Rory totally bails, her reassuring figure whenever her mothering capabilities are called into question, oh, and her fortune-teller, when need be. What a truly good boy. 

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