The Upcoming “Winnie-The-Pooh” Horror Movie Has Its First Trailer And…Oh, Bother

    Deep in the Hundred Acre Wood, where Christopher Robin...gets slain.

    So, back in May, we were made aware of the existence of an upcoming Winnie-the-Pooh horror movie — which is a sequence of words I never imagined I'd be typing all together in one sentence on a random Wednesday morning.

    Anyway, the first trailer for the project was released today, and when I tell you I'm all in on this thing, I mean it. Check out the waking nightmare here:

    View this video on YouTube

    Jagged Edge Productions / Via

    The trailer begins with the reveal that Christopher Robin is grown up and has long abandoned his cuddly pals, but is returning to the site of his childhood play, this time bringing a girl back to meet them.

    However, things in the ol' Hundred Acre Wood aren't so cuddly anymore — oh, and Eeyore's just straight-up dead, I guess.

    A tomb reading "Eeyore R.I.P."

    As with any good (and ridiculous) horror movie, things start to escalate real quick, as Pooh (and Piglet, too!) aim to take their revenge on their young former owner and his friends.

    The trailer looks...well, wild. Absurd. Bonkers. Unhinged. Creepy. Weird. And yes, I will 110% be watching it, thank you so much for asking.

    But, most of all, it looks really, really violent. Like, y'all, this bear and pig aren't messin' around.

    As noted previously, this — obviously, LOL — has nothing to do with the beloved Disney property or those specific characters. For those not aware, author A.A. Milne's original Winnie-the-Pooh tales became public domain at the start of this year, and these filmmakers were quick to create this concept off of that. And I mean literally quick: the film was shot in only 10 days in England.

    Winnie the Pooh stuck in a honey tree

    Also, I know they probably couldn't do it for trademark reasons, but I do wish I was watching this bear murder people while wearing a red crop top. That's what's missing for me, TBH.

    A giant stuffed Winnie The Pooh receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in front of the El Capitan Theatre

    Well, there ya have it! Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey is "coming soon." And, if you didn't know about this project before and are just learning about it now from me: you're welcome, and also, I'm sorry!