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People Are Sharing Their Mom's "Catchphrases" And, OMG, It's So Accurate

"LONG. STORY. SHORT." — My mom concluding her hour-long story.

Look, I'm just going to say it: Every single mother in the WORLD is an iconic character who deserves their own movie. And, as with any iconic film or TV character, every IRL mom has their own "catchphrase."

And this week, when Reddit user iceshard1232 asked, "What is your mom's catchphrase?" WHEW BUDDY, people came prepared with their responses!

Here are just a few of the most MOM-TASTIC one-liners:

1. "'Let me show you a trick I learned in the Army!' Important note: She was never in the Army."


2. "'Are your ears painted on!?' was said any time I wasn't listening."


3. "Every time I left the house, my mother would say in a kind of sing-song, upbeat voice, 'Don't speak to any strange men.'"


4. "My mom's is 'Long story short.' Generally used like this: 'So yesterday we went to the store. Long story short, we couldn’t find a parking spot, so long story short, we finally found one. It was the eighth row from the back. Long story short, I knew it was the eighth row from the back because I counted...' And so on."


5. "'The world is round, we'll get there eventually' is said whenever she makes a wrong turn."


6. "My mom doesn't really have a catchphrase so much as a specific facial expression that my dad calls 'The Look.' Getting 'The Look' means you've irritated her, but if it escalates to 'The Voice' then you're in a much more dire situation as now she's expended the energy to speak to you about it."


7. "'Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my mine.' While it was so annoying to hear as a kid, I use it as an adult whenever someone pisses me off due to their own poor planning."


8. "If anyone sneezes she says, 'Stop sneezing and go take an allergy pill!'"


9. "She'd say 'Always remember your six P’s: Proper planning prevents piss-poor performance.' It applies to absolutely everything.


10. "She had a few glasses of wine one evening and was snapping back at my brother about something. She had meant to say either 'bite me' or 'kiss my butt,' but it came out as 'Bite your own butt!' We teased her mercilessly and now it's her signature catch phrase! I love her."


11. "She would angrily shout 'God bless America!' in place of an expletive. It was scary as a kid, but hilarious in retrospect."


12. "My mom is a nurse, so any time we'd say 'my stomach hurts' or 'I don't feel good' her first question was, without pause, 'When was the last time you pooped?'"


13. "Whenever my sister or I would complain about doing chores she'd say, 'What do you think you are, just a souvenir of a good time?' It took me YEARS to figure that one out."


14. "When I was a kid and I didn't know how to do something my mom thought I should know how to do, her answer was always 'Pretend like I'm dead.' I remember her saying this to me when I was as young as six years old. She's a peach."


15. "My mom's go-to was: 'Listen to me now and believe me later.'"


16. "English is my mom's second language, which she learned in her late 30's. My favorite thing she says is, 'The welcome' instead of 'You're welcome.' It always makes me smile whenever I hear her say it."


17. "Whenever I was being a brat, my mom's favorite phrase was '[My name], Copernicus called! You're not the center of the universe!'"


So what's your mom's "catchphrase"? Is it funny, sweet, deep, or just plan WILD? Share your story in the comments below!