People Are Sharing Their Mom's "Catchphrases" And, OMG, It's So Accurate
"LONG. STORY. SHORT." — My mom concluding her hour-long story.
Look, I'm just going to say it: Every single mother in the WORLD is an iconic character who deserves their own movie. And, as with any iconic film or TV character, every IRL mom has their own "catchphrase."
And this week, when Reddit user iceshard1232 asked, "What is your mom's catchphrase?" WHEW BUDDY, people came prepared with their responses!
Here are just a few of the most MOM-TASTIC one-liners:
1. "'Let me show you a trick I learned in the Army!' Important note: She was never in the Army."
3. "Every time I left the house, my mother would say in a kind of sing-song, upbeat voice, 'Don't speak to any strange men.'"
4. "My mom's is 'Long story short.' Generally used like this: 'So yesterday we went to the store. Long story short, we couldn’t find a parking spot, so long story short, we finally found one. It was the eighth row from the back. Long story short, I knew it was the eighth row from the back because I counted...' And so on."
5. "'The world is round, we'll get there eventually' is said whenever she makes a wrong turn."
6. "My mom doesn't really have a catchphrase so much as a specific facial expression that my dad calls 'The Look.' Getting 'The Look' means you've irritated her, but if it escalates to 'The Voice' then you're in a much more dire situation as now she's expended the energy to speak to you about it."
7. "'Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my mine.' While it was so annoying to hear as a kid, I use it as an adult whenever someone pisses me off due to their own poor planning."
9. "She'd say 'Always remember your six P’s: Proper planning prevents piss-poor performance.' It applies to absolutely everything.
10. "She had a few glasses of wine one evening and was snapping back at my brother about something. She had meant to say either 'bite me' or 'kiss my butt,' but it came out as 'Bite your own butt!' We teased her mercilessly and now it's her signature catch phrase! I love her."
11. "She would angrily shout 'God bless America!' in place of an expletive. It was scary as a kid, but hilarious in retrospect."
12. "My mom is a nurse, so any time we'd say 'my stomach hurts' or 'I don't feel good' her first question was, without pause, 'When was the last time you pooped?'"
13. "Whenever my sister or I would complain about doing chores she'd say, 'What do you think you are, just a souvenir of a good time?' It took me YEARS to figure that one out."