Hello! How are you? You're doing well?! Oh, that's great! Please allow me to ruin that for you immediately.
This weekend I was perusing the interwebs — as one does — just minding my own business. I watched that new Wonder Woman 1984 trailer. I enjoyed some clips from this week's Saturday Night Live. Then, unexpectedly, I came across this now VERY viral tweet that shook me to my very foundation:
I'M SORRY, W. H. A. T?
Naturally, I had approximately one trillion questions: First off — if this WAS true — how the heck tall was everyone else in this freakin' movie, then??? Was Elsa 11 feet tall on top of being an actual ice god???
Does this mean that Anna and Elsa were, like, 5'3'' as six-year-olds?! They were literally his height when they built him as actual babies?!
IS MARSHMALLOW GODZILLA?!
Naturally, I wasn't the only human being concerned about this listed height and — to put it lightly — the internet imploded at the very idea:
"Unsettling" is an excellent summation of the idea of a human-sized sentient snowman who demands warm hugs:
Meanwhile, some wanted to make this the new form of measurement for all height everywhere:
Others were quick to try to find reason within all of the madness:
Okay, this is where I'm going to stop and say that this is, of course, NOT CORRECT information and was just hilariously edited (the outrage was originally based on a screenshot taken from a fan wiki page, after all), but the sleep all of us lost over this entire thing was very, very REAL.
To further demonstrate this point, here's a beautifully-researched Tumblr post from 2014 that better depicts the realistic heights of the characters and lists Olaf at a much more comfortable 2'6'':
In the end, maybe the explanation is simple and Olaf the snowman is just out here acting like every person to ever use any dating app:
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