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    • allieg4b2b88ced

      I stopped trying to lose weight when my obsession got in the way of everything else in my life. I would count calories endlessly and feel horrid about myself if I went so much as 5 calories over. If I couldn’t make it to the gym five times a week, I was convinced I was fat. The language I was using was all focused around “losing weight” “skinny” and “better”. This self talk and self destruction led to restricting, and then purging when I felt I’d had too much.
      With this in mind, I’m someone my friends refer to as tiny and in need of an extra cheeseburger, but my body dysmorphia wouldn’t let me process that. Through my own body positivity work and some behavioral therapy, I saw how my dieting and obsessive workouts were negatively affecting me.
      I began a slow process of changing my habits and my outlook. The things that worked for me (and everyone is different) are: - Taping a photo of myself as a child onto my mirror to remind me that that little girl is still me, and she doesn’t deserve the negative self talk I’m sometimes prone to dishing out. - Working out when it sounds “fun” and never because I feel like I just “have to”. This for me means going on bike rides to enjoy the scenery, hiking, walking with friends, doing yoga as a body meditation, etc. instead of forcing myself onto a treadmill for hours. - Changing the words I use regarding my body. I now use words like: healthy, and strong. - Spending time in nature to remind me that my body is an ally. It is friendly tool that helps me accomplish my goals, not simply a paper doll to be adorned and “perfected” - Seeing my body as a whole being, not parts. Ex. I am me. I am not my stomach, nor am I my fingernails. I have both, but neither define me. - Telling my body that I love it out loud - this one sounds a little silly, but it has really helped! If I’m feeling bad about myself, or a certain area that I’m self critical of, I’ll stop and change my self talk. If I hear myself thinking “ugh, I hate my stomach today” I’ll stop and say aloud to my stomach “I love you tummy! Thank you for all that you do.” - Seeing food as “super powers” - again, a little silly, but this one is huge. Instead of viewing food as its caloric intake, I’ve started telling myself that it’s super power fuel. If I’m feeling hungry, I’ll tell myself I need to recharge and go to the fridge to find healthy foods that boost my super hero awesomeness.
      If I’m hungry, I’ll eat. If I want dessert, I’ll have dessert. It sounds so easy, but for me this was the biggest hurdle I’ve ever jumped. Having my “super power fuel” in mind, I’ve accomplished so, so much. Overall, I learned that positive self talk, seeing healthy food as fuel, and enjoying desserts and sweets in moderation is the best way for me to live. Since I cut out dieting and embraced this positivity, I have been so much happier, and I am so grateful for the body I have every single day.

    • allieg4b2b88ced

      My parents used to tell my sisters and I that if we were bad they would send us to the Buttermilk Lady’s house. She would make you drink buttermilk ALL day. None of us had ever tasted buttermilk, but it sounded awful! Also, on a particularly tired day at Target when my sisters and I wouldn’t stay by the cart, my mom told us that all the little children who got lost in target would turn into China dolls after the store closed. We would be stuck there forever until someone came to buy us, and we would never go home. And that’s why the China dolls all looked so sad.
      We were never more than 3 feet from the cart after that.

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