Top 15 Things NEVER To Discuss With A Struggling Job Seeker

When you hustle to find a job, only to be met with rejection, it’s easy to fall in a depression. Your world starts to get smaller causing people to have a greater impact....

1. Don't tell me how your niece knows somebody that got her a job at the biggest firm in NYC ...WHO CARES?!

Dreamstime / Via dreamstime.com

Unless your nieces' friend is going to hire me, it's useless to share the story. The worst is when you ask "can her friend hook me up with a job" and the reply is "oh, they aren't hiring right now". If that is the case, in no circumstance do I care about this story.

2. If you don’t have a solution, stop pointing out the problems

Andrew Glanville / Via toyourhealth.com

We know what our problem is, shoving it in our face is not a solution.

3. Don’t ask me “how is the job search going”

If the search was successful (i.e I found a job), chances are you would know about it.

4. Don't suggest public assistance

Michael Kanazawa / Via bigideastobigresults.com

Though people with full time jobs receive public assistance, when ACTIVELY looking for a job, why suggest it? Suggesting public assistance translates to "you might not find a job, so apply just in case." We are struggling as it is, there is no room for an "I can't" or "you might not be able to" attitude.

5. Don't tell me "try to get anything"

That is good advice, but what do you think we're doing? I am sure there was a point where we stuck up our noises at remedial jobs. But now, Dunkin' Donuts and McDonald's sound like dream jobs. Getting rejected from jobs you are overqualified

for hurts the most.

6. Don't let the ONLY topic of discussion be my job search

We are very aware of our job situation, we don't need you bringing it up EVERY time!

7. Don't say " you are lucky to not be living on the street"

Job Search That Works / Via jobsearchthatworks.com

We are lucky for a lot of things. That does not change our employment status.

8. Don't share your battle wounds

Similar to #7, your hardships has nothing to do with changing our employment status. People share stories as a means of motivation. However, for those that are ACTIVELY looking for a job, we are not trying to hear your story.

9. If you have a job, don't complain about it

DailyFreedom / Via dailyfreedom.com

Would you complain to somebody, starving on the street, how bad the service was at the restaurant last night? No, you wouldn't. So don't talk about how your job sucks. If it's that bad, then quit because there are millions of people that would be more than happy to have it.

11. Don't say "you're not filling out enough applications"

Alexandra Iacono

Unless you verify the EXACT number of applications we fill out a day, don't assume a lack of encouragement to apply is the reason we aren't finding employment.

12. Don't tell me how easy it was for you to get a job

Everybody's situation is different. As the old adage goes "its all about who you know". Of course, if you don't have the skill set, then you won't last long. Unfortunately, people with degrees are finding it incredibly difficult to find jobs. Along time ago, an education meant something. People that compare how easy it was to find employment back in 70's, lack an understanding that life is not what it used to be.

13. Don't say "I told you this degree wouldn't land you any jobs"

Amanda Black / Via files.mom.me

Most of the time, this is the line that parents say to their children after they graduated with a degree that is "un-marketable". It's important to pursue a career that you love. Sometimes careers we love don't pay the big bucks or not plentiful. You are not wrong for pursuing a degree in your passion. Understand that you will struggle; it is part of the journey to success. Don't let haters (there will be haters along the way) discourage you.

14. Don't say to us "I pay the bills"

City Life / Via arts-museun.ru

Financial independence is important. Nobody should feel like they owe anybody anything. That isn't the case when you don't have a job. There will be people that treat you like property. Just remember, "nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) . If you don't have a job, be courteous and don't spend money that isn't there. Stay humble and gracious to the person that is housing you (but you knew that already). You are fully aware they pay the bills, you don't need to be CONSTANTLY reminded of it.

In many cases, people use money as a means of control. If you are in a situation where somebody says to you "I'll do "x" to you, your kids and dog (or any other non-human animal companion) if you don't do "y", it's time to leave. Being on the street is dangerous, but still safer then being in a house where you KNOW what will happen. It will give you time to make a safety plan.

(in an emergency call 911)

http://www.thehotline.org/

15. Last and the worst is "Whats wrong with you? We thought you would have a job by now"

Ewan Nicholson / Via psychic-medium-readings.co.uk

I can't tell you many people say this. They think because a person is good looking, a scholar, clear speaking, from good stock, they should be able to get a job. We have been in-between jobs for so long, it becomes comfortable. Yet, we are miserable remaining stagnant, scared to leave our house, in need of structure but at the first sign of success, we sabotage it. We apply to jobs we don't want or know we won't get, begin to isolate ourselves and sleep solely to avoid "this" feeling.

Being in-between jobs is a transitional period. A job does not define who we are. It wasn't the job that made you happy; structure and being around people is what gave you joy. We need pressure and consequences in our lives, otherwise, what's the point?

Volunteering is a great element to make you feel like a contributing member of society.However, community service does not provide personal consequence. You might feel personal guilt, if you miss a day, but in order to keep going, we need selfish urgency.

Once you find structure, discipline and consequence, everything else will fall into place. Those are things only YOU can make happen.