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19 Movie Monsters That Look Like Penises And Vaginas

As well as the occasional anus!

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In the movies, the only limitations to creature design are effects technology and the human imagination. And, it turns out, the human imagination returns, with reassuring regularity, to humanity's bathing suit area. Intentionally and otherwise, the most memorable on-screen monsters frequently get a little Freudian. Below are some of my personal favorites.

1. Xenomorph, Alien (1979)

20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

There's never been better proof of how disturbing warped sexual imagery can be than H. R. Giger's famous Alien designs. In their adult form, the xenomorphs have long, phallic heads and mouths dripping with fluid (an effect reportedly achieved with generous amounts of K-Y Jelly) from which an equally phallic set of inner jaws protrudes. What better look for a creature that, as the film's screenwriter Dan O'Bannon put it in the Alien Evolution doc, is bent on "alien interspecies rape," forcing other organisms to gestate its young until they are ready to burst, horribly, from their hosts’ abdomens?

2. Facehugger, Aliens (1986)

20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

In Alien, we first saw the xenomorphs in their spider-like facehugger stage, latching on to their victims' heads and implanting embryos in them via their mouths without even the courtesy of a little chit-chat first. In the sequel, Aliens, we got a glimpse of the underbelly of a facehugger, and of course, it's pretty much a nightmare vagina.

3. Trilobite, Prometheus (2012)

20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

The Alien franchise's 2012 prequel Prometheus had its share of vagina snakes as well as regular ol' human sex leading to less regular ol' horrifying alien C-sections. But it’s the grotesque combo of male and female genitalia — the trilobite — toward the end that really takes the cake.

4. Hengrauggi, Star Trek (2009)

Paramount Pictures

That splay-faced red thing that chases down Kirk (Chris Pine) when he's marooned on the ice planet in the Star Trek reboot? Designer Neville Page claimed its distinctive maw was inspired by a prolapsed rectum.

5. Brain Bug, Starship Troopers (1997)

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers is a satire of hyper-macho, nationalistic action movies, so that thought-sucking “Brain Bug” that looked like a giant vulva with eight eyes was clearly intentional.

6. God Bug, Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

The Starship Troopers sequels were all direct-to-video, but that doesn't mean they didn't stay true to the spirit of the original, especially in terms of deadly vagina-like higher-level Arachnids.

7. Sarlacc, Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment

George Lucas may have spruced up the Giant Pit of Carkoon sequence in the re-releases, but the sarlacc will always be a spiny desert anus in the hearts of old-school fans.

8. Penisaurus, Flesh Gordon (1974)

Mammoth Films

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but not in this softcore parody of the Flash Gordon serials. Here, the world is being tormented by the sex ray of the evil Emperor Wang (William Dennis Hunt), and audiences are tormented by an endless array of cornball innuendo. "What is it, doc?" Flesh Gordon (Jason William) asks when this creature arrives. "Some species of penisaurus, I should think!" responds Dr. Flexi Jerkoff (Joseph Hudgins).

9. Worms, King Kong (2005)

Universal Studios Home Entertainment

The Flesh Gordon penisaurus is a gag, but it really isn’t that far off from these menacing, not-at-all-funny, apparently uncircumcised Skull Island worms in Peter Jackson’s King Kong reboot.

10. Shelob, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

New Line Home Video

There's plenty that's scary about the Great Spider Shelob, not the least of which is the vagina dentata design of her gaping maw. Ominous genital imagery has popped up in other Jackson films as well...

11. Sauron, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

New Line Home Video

... Including this LOTR sequel. Even the Eye of Sauron — that baleful, fiery slit in the sky — occasionally brings to mind another body part.

12. Fred and Ginger, Splice (2009)

Warner Home Video

The scientists played by Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody in Vincenzo Natali's Cronenberg-esque Splice have spent their time genetically engineering “Fred” and “Ginger," two hybrids they hope to mate. Polley’s considerable abilities as an actor may have never been put to better use than in the moment she looks at one of the eyeless penis-scrotum-tongue creatures they've created and exclaims, "He's so cute!"

13. The Bag, My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)

Mill Creek Entertainment

It's the accessory that every secret alien needs: a phallic symbol that lives inside her purse, and at one point, pops out to advise her about sex.

14. Additional penis and vagina monsters, Battle Beyond the Sun (1959)

Mill Creek Entertainment

One of Francis Ford Coppola’s earliest films was this Roger Corman special in which a 1959 Russian movie called Nebo Zovyot was recut, re-written, and dubbed over in English for U.S. audiences. In addition to trimming out the anti-American sentiment, Coppola shot and added scenes of two space monsters fighting, because what movie couldn't do with more monsters? Especially vaguely sexual ones! "Francis had this wonderful idea for the monsters — one would look sort of like a penis and the other would look sort of like a vagina," filmmaker Jack Hill, who helped out on Battle Beyond the Sun, told Trailers From Hell. Audiences, he added, thought the sequences were "very funny."

15. Reaper, Blade II (2002)

New Line Home Entertainment

When director Guillermo del Toro was asked about the "vaginal influence of the Reapers" in his sequel to the 1998 vampire action movie Blade, he reportedly said, "You have to understand makeup artists: They never get any pussy, so they are always creating it!"

16. Predator, Predator (1987)

20th Century Fox

The Reapers could bond with the Predator in John McTiernan's action classic over having angrily pudendal mouths.

17. Sandworm, Dune (1984)

Universal Studios Home Entertainment

In David Lynch's unloved attempt at a giant space opera, he brought the massive sandworms at the center of Frank Herbert's sci-fi saga to evocative, penis-like life, making the scene in which Paul Atreides (Kyle MacLachlan) summons and rides one the stuff academic papers could be (and probably have been) written about.

18. Aqualish, Star Wars (1977)

Walt Disney Home Entertainment

Maybe Aqualish, like Ponda Baba, are ill-tempered by nature. Or maybe they end up that way after how tough high school has to be with a face that ends in a pair of labia.

19. Ballchinian, Men in Black II (2002)

Sony Pictures Releasing

But at least the Aqualish weren't, as a race, invented for the sake of a passing bit. "K, he's a Ballchinian!" Will Smith's Agent J yells after Tommy Lee Jones' Agent K attempts a few useless kicks to this alien's crotch in the sequel to Men in Black. And so, Jones wallops him in the chin instead, because sometimes all of this imagery is there to evoke psychosexual dread, and sometimes, it's just about a kick-in-the-balls joke.

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