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A Day In The Life Of The "Ascension Millennium," According To Corey Feldman

The "Ascension Millennium" has everything: nonsensical lyrics, sexy angels, a Sean Astin cameo, product placement, all of the fedoras because of course, and the never-ending Michael Jackson impersonation that is Corey Feldman's life.

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If you had any doubts that the 80s made weirdos out of us all, allow Corey Feldman to show you the light. Feldman has made an entire career out of being a bit of an era novelty in that sad clown painting sort of way, but what we didn't know is that it also made him a bit of a philosopher. Just look at the description for the video itself:

"Join Corey as he takes you on a musical journey through his "Feldmansion" in this Day in the Life Adventure. Flanked by 2 of "Corey's Angels" he dances and sings his way through scenes featuring his pal Sean Astin from "The Goonies" to a MJ style dance sequence, and eventually to his recording studio which shakes and crumbles to become a concert Stadium where he performs.Ascension Millennium (the brand new single from Coreys upcoming solo album) premiered on MTV on July 1st 2013 and within hrs had reached the coveted "Buzzworthy" status. Within its 1st week exclusively on MTV it gained 250,000 views world wide. Now ITS YOURS! Welcome to the Dawn.....and ASCEND!"

(And yes, all of that is [sic].)

Naturally, this leads us to ponder what it means to ASCEND! into such a world. What does a day in this brave new world really look like? Thankfully, Feldman's provided us with a glimpse at the answers.

According to Corey Feldman, the ascension millennium is all about bathrobes...


Corey Feldman is surrounded by so many sex-crazed angels who do it under halos, DUH, he had to get a custom bathrobe made.

View this video on YouTube

Man, this ascension millennium is going to be the best one EVER!

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