We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
1. An air pulse massager that'll make your next trip to the tub a good one. It has five levels of intensity and reviewers say it can get the job done in, like, ten seconds (perfect if you're the type of person who prefers a sprint to a marathon).
2. A C-shaped gadget that can be remote-controlled from up to ten metres away so you can get saucy with your partner from a distance. Reviewers are into how versatile this toy is and love how it can be used to elevate a ton of different positions.
3. A rose-shaped vibrator, which, let's be honest, is waaaay better than a bouquet of flowers that'll die in a week. It has ten vibration modes and will give you all the joys of oral sex so your partner can give their poor neck a break.
4. A wearable massager with three speeds that diddle your Skittle like never before. You can slip it onto your fingers like a pair of rings, meaning you can focus your energy on pleasure instead of maneuvering.
5. A Fifty Shades of Grey rabbit vibe that'll allow you to play out your Christian Grey fantasies IRL (Jamie Dornan is not included, my sincerest apologies). It has a pulsating head, ears that flick, and can thrust away for a whole hour when fully charged.
6. A beginner-friendly trio of vibrating butt plugs that'll have your booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere this Valentine's Day. It comes with a remote control and a bullet vibrator for good measure.
7. Or a set of silicone butt plugs that come in various sizes so you can train your way up. Reviewers describe them as firm, yet flexible and say they're easy to clean (especially in comparison to beads).
8. A curvy vibrator with a body like a backroad that has all the right curves and edges to get you goin'. With over ten vibration modes, you'll always be able to shake up your rhythm, meaning you'll never get bored in bed.
9. A confetti dildo that'll make every day feel like a celebration. It's both firm and flexible and can be suctioned onto most smooth surfaces (if you're playing solo and need a little assistance).
10. A dual-ended vibrator that can be used anywhere on your body, thanks to its unique shape. Reviewers love how versatile it is and say that their other vibes have been gathering dust since purchasing it.
11. A legendary Satisfyer Pro 2 that'll simulate oral sex with air pulsations and give you the gift of multiple orgasms this Valentine's Day. Reviewers are obsessed with how it can go from gentle to earth-shattering with the touch of a button.
12. A fancy stainless steel vibrator that's totally inconspicuous and pretty enough to be worn as jewellery. Can any of your other necklaces give you an orgasm? I think not.
13. A three-speed bunny-shaped vibe with floppy ears that'll be more than just an adorable bedside accessory. It's designed to stay in place without the help of your hands so you can use your phalanges for other things 😉.
14. A 3-in-1 rabbit with a thrusting shaft, vibrating bunny ears, and jiggling beads that can really do it all. Reviewers love that it hits all their hot spots at once and that it keeps them guessing with different patterns.
15. A conical wand that looks like it belongs in Kim Kardashian's monastery-themed home. It's got three speeds and doesn't have any wild bells or whistles, making it great for beginners.
16. A bestselling jelly dildo that's designed to look and feel like the real deal (aside from the colour, obvi). It's soft and flexible so you can really have your way with it.
17. A textured toy that'll do what no classic rabbit or wand can do. It has ten vibration modes to choose from and is designed to act like a tongue to really enhance your experience. Orgasms, ahoy!
18. A fancy dual-function vibrator that'll hit both inside and outside simultaneously to really pack on the pleasure. The wand and air pulse vibrators can be controlled independently so you really can tailor your vibe experience to your needs.
19. A discreet wearable vibrator with a remote control that you can slide right into your undies. Reviewers say it has really spiced things up with their partners and love that it isn't bulky or uncomfortable to wear for longer periods of time.
20. A simple, yet effective massage wand that can also be used to knead out aches and pains on other parts of your bod. It has eight speeds and 20 patterns to choose from so you're bound to find some that suit your ~interests~.
21. A cherry-shaped vibrator that looks like a piece of fruit, but is much ~saucier~ than your fave summer treat. Reviewers love that they can use it both internally and externally and say that it's great for practicing kegel exercises, too.
22. A double-sided jelly dildo so you and your partner can get your rocks off at the same time (sharing is caring). Reviewers love that it's simultaneously firm and flexible and that it doesn’t have the plastic-y smell that many jelly toys do.
23. A palm-sized vibrator with a thumbprint design that'll follow the curves and contours of your bod. It has eight vibration modes built in, but you can create your own on the We-Vibe app when you're in the mood to try something new.
24. A needle nose vibrator that'll flick your bean at high speed. You can also flip it and reverse it, using the wide end to get all up in you and target your G-spot. Reviewers say it's super powerful and even puts some of their luxury sex toys to shame.
25. A rabbit vibrator that's basically the eggplant emoji, but with extra ears for extra pleasure. It's got a curved shaft that'll get all up in your business in the best way possible.
26. A bougie bullet vibrator that'll prove that good things really do come in small packages. It has eight intensity levels and seven different patterns so it's just as interesting (and fun to play with) as its more complex counterparts.
27. A textured glass dildo that kinda, sorta looks like it was crafted by Dale Chihuly (hello, art scholars). You can heat it up or cool it down with water to spice things up with a bit of temperature play.
28. Or a glass butt plug if you want to get in some backdoor action on the 14th. Reviewers love that it's larger than the beginner silicone models they started with and say the smooth, tapered design really does it for them.
29. And finally, a Tenga masturbation sleeve that'll tickle your pickle while looking like a work of art. The spiral will loosen and tighten as you do you do the dirty, giving you an added dose of frisky fun. Reviewers say it can take a sec to get used to but that once you find your rhythm, it's life-changing.
You after using all the fun things you just ordered:
