We hear a lot of queer coming out stories in media, but there's one aspect of those stories that isn't talked about very often: the moment someone realizes they're gay.
Here are some of the best responses:
1. "I looked at a girl and thought, 'If I was a guy, I'd date her,' and then, I realized I didn't need to be a guy to date her. I was not brave enough to speak to that girl, though."
2. "During the 2018 Summer Olympics, I realized I had been watching men's water polo, alone, for eight hours."
3. "I'm bi, and I realized I wasn't straight while watching The Lizzie McGuire Movie when I was, like, 8 or 9. I was in the backseat on a long car ride watching on my portable DVD player. There's a scene near the end where Lizzie is on stage singing and the camera shot is behind her. I remember pausing the movie and staring at her butt for a good while and wondering why it made me feel a certain way. A few years later, I found my uncle's Playboy magazines, and it suddenly all made sense."
4. "For the longest time, I got 'crush' and 'favorite character' mixed up. I had 'crushes' on TV and movie guys, but I would OBSESS over my 'favorite' girl characters. Like, for male characters, it was all 'I'm madly in love with this guy; I love his [storyline, abilities, character arc, etc.]' With female characters, it was, 'She's gorgeous, she's so hot, I love how she looks in that outfit. She's my favorite character!' I was well into high school before I realized!"
5. "I used to uncomfortably look away from advertisements that used female sex appeal because I thought they were 'bad.' But it was really because I was scared that I liked women, and I was religious at the time."
6. "The first time I thought, 'Oh shit, I'm gay' was after beating off to two twinks going at it. When post-nut clarity hit, I vomited from the self-inflicted stress of my deeply-rooted homophobia. The first time I had the thought in a good light was when I received a hug from a cute guy who liked me back. I was like, 'Yeah, I’m definitely gay' — but it was a warm, happy thought that time."
7. "When I was really young, I used to have erotic dreams with guys (thanks, He-Man), but didn't think much about it. After starting puberty, I masturbated while thinking about men, and that's when the internal conflict started. I feared being singled out, because I lived in a regressive place where honor killings were common. There were no homosexuals in my family — why me?"
8. "An episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where they showed Riker’s hairy chest. I learned not only that I was gay, but also a lot about my specific type of gay."
9. "I was 8 when my older brother was recording the last Nirvana concert, and I said David Grohl was cute. I didn't really know what it meant to be attracted to someone, but I was drawn to him. My brother said, 'That means you're GAY!!!' I didn't understand what gay was yet, but his tone made me respond, 'Nuh uh!!!' Turns out he was right."
10. "In sixth grade, I got a crush on a guy in my class — only I didn’t know it was possible to get a crush on a boy. I started fantasizing about kissing him and stuff. I remember one time he bent over, and I saw a slight glimpse of his underwear, and I could’ve exploded into ash at that moment. I had no idea what any of this meant! It took two-ish years before I knew I liked the same sex, because I started feeling this way about many boys in my class, but no girls. But it took another two to three years after that before I could accept it within myself."
11. "I'm a bi man with a heavy female lean, and I always thought some guys were cute. When I first heard of Grindr, I went on and hooked up with a cute guy. Five minutes of being balls deep in him, and I realized I liked to fuck women AND men."
12. "Looking back, I definitely had feelings for women just as much as I had feelings for men, but I either didn't realize it or was in denial about it. I was 20 when a girl crush really hit me hard, and I started to realize I was bi but was still confused for some time. Finally, around age 24, I came out to my brother as bi — and much to my surprise and relief, he did as well!"
13. "When I was playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City as a kid, I always found the main character to be very handsome. As a teen, I revisited Vice City and started looking for fan art of the main character, because I couldn't get enough of his handsomeness. That's when it kind of clicked that I had a crush on a video game character since I was a kid. After that, I started to explore my sexuality more. So, thank you, Tommy Vercetti!"
14. "You ever have a really intense friendship with a guy when you were a teenager that suddenly ended when he got a girlfriend? Yup."
15. "My senior year of high school, Titanic was re-released in 3D for the 100-year anniversary of the disaster. My dad took me to see it, and I caught myself trying to control my breathing during the nude drawing scene so that my dad wouldn't catch on to the fact that I was super into seeing Kate Winslet’s boobs in towering 3D."
16. "Well, it all started with femboys…"
17. "This dude was kissing me, and I was disgusted. I felt so dirty and wanted to puke so badly. When he started to get undressed and I saw his body, I noped the fuck out. After that, I never tried to be straight again."
18. "In eighth grade, I caught myself staring at a classmate for a noticeably uncomfortable amount of time. I was like, 'Why do I keep looking at her? Maybe I have a crush? Do I want to kiss her?' And the answer was most definitely yes."
19. "One time when I was in seventh grade, a girl I was friends with pinned a dude's arm behind his back for spreading a rumor that I was gay. I was already aware I was into girls — though not out yet — and that incident made me realize I actually had a crush on her."
20. "George of the Jungle."
H/T r/AskReddit
Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.