20 Moments When Gay People Realized "Yup, I'm As Queer As The Day Is Long"

    "A girl pinned a dude's arm behind his back for spreading a rumor that I was gay. Ironically, that incident made me realize I had a crush on her."

    We hear a lot of queer coming out stories in media, but there's one aspect of those stories that isn't talked about very often: the moment someone realizes they're gay.

    Recently, u/Haunting-Golf9761 asked, "Gay people of Reddit, what was the moment it clicked and you thought, 'yeah I’m gay'?"

    Here are some of the best responses:

    1. "I looked at a girl and thought, 'If I was a guy, I'd date her,' and then, I realized I didn't need to be a guy to date her. I was not brave enough to speak to that girl, though."

    screenshot from "Happiest Season"

    2. "During the 2018 Summer Olympics, I realized I had been watching men's water polo, alone, for eight hours."

    Men playing water polo

    3. "I'm bi, and I realized I wasn't straight while watching The Lizzie McGuire Movie when I was, like, 8 or 9. I was in the backseat on a long car ride watching on my portable DVD player. There's a scene near the end where Lizzie is on stage singing and the camera shot is behind her. I remember pausing the movie and staring at her butt for a good while and wondering why it made me feel a certain way. A few years later, I found my uncle's Playboy magazines, and it suddenly all made sense."

    Screenshot from "The Lizzie McGuire Movie"

    4. "For the longest time, I got 'crush' and 'favorite character' mixed up. I had 'crushes' on TV and movie guys, but I would OBSESS over my 'favorite' girl characters. Like, for male characters, it was all 'I'm madly in love with this guy; I love his [storyline, abilities, character arc, etc.]' With female characters, it was, 'She's gorgeous, she's so hot, I love how she looks in that outfit. She's my favorite character!' I was well into high school before I realized!"

    A girl laying in the tub on her phone

    5. "I used to uncomfortably look away from advertisements that used female sex appeal because I thought they were 'bad.' But it was really because I was scared that I liked women, and I was religious at the time."

    A woman pointing a remote at the camera

    6. "The first time I thought, 'Oh shit, I'm gay' was after beating off to two twinks going at it. When post-nut clarity hit, I vomited from the self-inflicted stress of my deeply-rooted homophobia. The first time I had the thought in a good light was when I received a hug from a cute guy who liked me back. I was like, 'Yeah, I’m definitely gay' — but it was a warm, happy thought that time."

    A man staring contemplatively

    7. "When I was really young, I used to have erotic dreams with guys (thanks, He-Man), but didn't think much about it. After starting puberty, I masturbated while thinking about men, and that's when the internal conflict started. I feared being singled out, because I lived in a regressive place where honor killings were common. There were no homosexuals in my family — why me?"

    A person sitting at the top of the stairs

    8. "An episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where they showed Riker’s hairy chest. I learned not only that I was gay, but also a lot about my specific type of gay."

    Closeup of Riker

    9. "I was 8 when my older brother was recording the last Nirvana concert, and I said David Grohl was cute. I didn't really know what it meant to be attracted to someone, but I was drawn to him. My brother said, 'That means you're GAY!!!' I didn't understand what gay was yet, but his tone made me respond, 'Nuh uh!!!' Turns out he was right."

    Dave Grohl drumming

    10. "In sixth grade, I got a crush on a guy in my class — only I didn’t know it was possible to get a crush on a boy. I started fantasizing about kissing him and stuff. I remember one time he bent over, and I saw a slight glimpse of his underwear, and I could’ve exploded into ash at that moment. I had no idea what any of this meant! It took two-ish years before I knew I liked the same sex, because I started feeling this way about many boys in my class, but no girls. But it took another two to three years after that before I could accept it within myself."

    A young man contemplating on his bed

    11. "I'm a bi man with a heavy female lean, and I always thought some guys were cute. When I first heard of Grindr, I went on and hooked up with a cute guy. Five minutes of being balls deep in him, and I realized I liked to fuck women AND men."

    A man on his phone

    12. "Looking back, I definitely had feelings for women just as much as I had feelings for men, but I either didn't realize it or was in denial about it. I was 20 when a girl crush really hit me hard, and I started to realize I was bi but was still confused for some time. Finally, around age 24, I came out to my brother as bi — and much to my surprise and relief, he did as well!"

    A man and woman smiling and hugging

    13. "When I was playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City as a kid, I always found the main character to be very handsome. As a teen, I revisited Vice City and started looking for fan art of the main character, because I couldn't get enough of his handsomeness. That's when it kind of clicked that I had a crush on a video game character since I was a kid. After that, I started to explore my sexuality more. So, thank you, Tommy Vercetti!"

    Grand Theft Auto game

    14. "You ever have a really intense friendship with a guy when you were a teenager that suddenly ended when he got a girlfriend? Yup."

    A guy looking back at another guy

    15. "My senior year of high school, Titanic was re-released in 3D for the 100-year anniversary of the disaster. My dad took me to see it, and I caught myself trying to control my breathing during the nude drawing scene so that my dad wouldn't catch on to the fact that I was super into seeing Kate Winslet’s boobs in towering 3D."

    Kate Winslet in "Titanic"

    16. "Well, it all started with femboys…"

    Two hands linked by the pinky

    17. "This dude was kissing me, and I was disgusted. I felt so dirty and wanted to puke so badly. When he started to get undressed and I saw his body, I noped the fuck out. After that, I never tried to be straight again."

    A young woman holding her hand out to a guy trying to kiss her

    18. "In eighth grade, I caught myself staring at a classmate for a noticeably uncomfortable amount of time. I was like, 'Why do I keep looking at her? Maybe I have a crush? Do I want to kiss her?' And the answer was most definitely yes."


    19. "One time when I was in seventh grade, a girl I was friends with pinned a dude's arm behind his back for spreading a rumor that I was gay. I was already aware I was into girls — though not out yet — and that incident made me realize I actually had a crush on her."

    A woman seemingly yelling at a man who is looking away from her

    20. "George of the Jungle."

    Closeup of Brendan Fraser in "George of the Jungle"

    H/T r/AskReddit

    Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.

    Gay people, what was your "aha!" moment? Tell us about it in the comments! 👇