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    I Can't Begin To Express To You How Much Better Your Life Will Be When You Read These 23 Hilarious Tweets By Women

    "instead of meal prepping on sundays, have u considered taking an impromptu and cost ineffective trip to the grocery store every single day of the week?" —@_chase_____

    A large portion of the US is currently enjoying false spring #2 right now, which is in between second and third winter. If you're one of the lucky ones, go spend some time in the sun while you can!!

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    And make sure you follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!


    It finally happened: someone asked me where the library was in Spanish. I’ve been training for this since high school.

    Twitter: @abbyhiggins


    if you wanna get over a man just watch him eat

    Twitter: @TessaPaisa


    hey video game developers why do you put a waterfall in your game if there is no secret passage behind it? to make a fool out of me? to mock me?

    Twitter: @delsinsfire


    Every day it’s like “turns out this guy we thought was bare minimum fine is actually a huge piece of shit. Here’s where you can stream his upcoming project”

    Twitter: @itsmegangraves


    netflix and chill is over it's time to hbo max and climax

    Twitter: @jasminericegirl


    "young people can't buy homes because they'd rather buy big fancy TVs" I am begging older generations to understand that televisions have gone from "a thing that costs 4 months' salary" to "a thing you get for free when your roommate moves and can't be bothered to take it"

    Twitter: @VeryBadLlama


    surgeon asking his boss if he can do a procedure outside

    Twitter: @BrotiGupta


    gotta apologize to male authors because I just walked down the stairs and it turns out my chest did actually breast boobily

    Twitter: @roastmalone_


    Deeply haunted by a study that found human beings are *less than 50% accurate* in determining whether they are being flirted with.

    Twitter: @elly_bangs


    janelle monae finally showing off how fine she is instead of dressing like the monopoly man

    Twitter: @gldnraes


    trans people: im trans society: ok cheap bluetooth headphones: Power on. Connected

    Twitter: @fyrewyre_


    23 yr old just came up to me and said “hope it’s ok that I say this but I’m really into older women” so excuse me while I go kms

    Twitter: @abbygov


    My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here.

    Twitter: @missmulrooney


    i'm gonna quit writing cause i'm never gonna top prince harry's "time would heal my todger. when would it work on my heart?"

    Twitter: @cryingbaseball


    Never ceases to be funny that “All-Star,” sung by a group of super bro-y, burly dudes, includes the line “you’ll never shine if you don’t glow.” It’s like they ran out of lyrics and a My Little Pony episode was on in the background.

    Twitter: @baddestmamajama


    my favorite sex position is seeing them happy

    Twitter: @jasminericegirl


    i know i’m hot bc people complain about how i speak in every single video meaning they were watching it for my looks

    Twitter: @MelissaOng69420


    We need a slur for people wearing Apple Watches

    Twitter: @internetkendra


    Sent my mom a pic of me in my wedding dress and she just wrote back “call me.” But… but… I don’t wanna… 😳

    Twitter: @Blacktress


    instead of meal prepping on sundays, have u considered taking an impromptu and cost ineffective trip to the grocery store every single day of the week?

    Twitter: @_chase_____


    if i am in an uber or taxi or lyft i agree with every single thing the driver says. today a driver i had told me working out is the best pharmaceutical and that our bodies are pharmaceutical companies that pump out the best drugs and i said “absolutely true”

    Twitter: @KindaHagi


    Please don't take the internet's last textual platform from me. I don't want to do the thing where I film little videos of me pointing at words

    Twitter: @marnieshure


    Men: nothing is sexier than a woman with a great sense of humor Also men: except, like, a really sexy woman

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_

    Don't miss last week's funniest tweets by women!

    31 Of The Absolute Funniest Tweets By Women So Far In 2023