Internet Finds·Posted on Jan 13, 202320 Hysterical Tweets By Women That Sent Me To An Early Grave"Really feel like I should have gotten to fuck around a whole lot more for the historic amount of 'finding out' that's happened in my lifespan" —@VeryBadLlamaby Alice LahodaBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail Fun fact: "Blurred Lines," "Wake Me Up," "Pompeii," "What Does the Fox Say," "Cups," and "Harlem Shake" all came out 10 years ago, and now, I feel positively ancient. Time sure does fly when you're having a decade-long panic attack!!! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Before any more time passes, make sure you follow all these funny ladies on Twitter! 1. Emma Friend @EmmaYourFriend all these men vying for Speaker and none running to be Listener. makes u think 09:49 PM - 05 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @EmmaYourFriend 2. Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney My order at the Dunks drive thru came to $10.38. I handed the cashier a $10 gift card and 50 cents. She returned and handed me back the gift card and said “You have 12 cents left on it!” I can’t move past this. 06:18 PM - 05 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @missmulrooney 3. Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama some chud on twitter: everyone is so woke these days, you could never make a slightly edgy tv show from the early 2000s now It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: our next episode is called 'the gang does sex crimes in blackface' and we've been renewed for 19 more seasons 01:12 AM - 08 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @VeryBadLlama 4. Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters Lol my phone just put together a slideshow titled “animal friends” and it included a picture I took at the Atlanta aquarium of an otter sucking its own dick 07:06 PM - 09 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @samlymatters 5. Ginny Hogan_ @ginnyhogan_ Me The planet 🤝 03:27 PM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ginnyhogan_ 6. Kat Lewis @katjolewis Whenever I’m feeling down, I remember the company dinner when an intern turned to our CEO and asked, “Who are you?” 11:01 AM - 09 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @katjolewis 7. Sara K. Runnels @omgskr My mom’s 60-something friend was set up with a 67-year-old guy who is “not looking for anything serious” in case you think that ever ends 06:14 PM - 08 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @omgskr 8. broti gupta @BrotiGupta Doing sleight of hand magic at the nail salon while they try to politely request I keep my hands still 06:15 AM - 07 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @BrotiGupta 9. audrey @saint_audrey I’ve consulted with the jury (my friend group) and they have deliberated (texted me) and reached a verdict (given me advice I’m going to ignore) 03:20 PM - 11 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @saint_audrey 10. witchy mommy @supremeipadbaby men do shrooms once and discover the same things 13 year old girls have discovered alone in their bedrooms 05:26 PM - 09 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @supremeipadbaby 11. Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman This man is obsessed with everyone seeing that he knows how to sit down in a chair https://t.co/ZDSIiuJaX7 08:30 PM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite @rishisunak / Via Twitter: @hansmollman 12. jasminericegirl 🍚 @jasminericegirl why would u ever want to be friends with benefits with a man? like what benefits are u getting aside from a life lesson 02:35 AM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @jasminericegirl 13. Ginny Hogan_ @ginnyhogan_ I lost my virginity in high school. My boyfriend and I had sex, and then two weeks later, we had sex for a second time, at which point it became abundantly clear that what we had done the first time was definitely not sex 06:05 PM - 11 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ginnyhogan_ 14. miss martian @f8the ppl rlly don’t drop money on the floor like they used to 07:56 PM - 05 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @f8the 15. Noorッ @Noorthevirgo cologne but the C is silent 05:13 AM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Noorthevirgo 16. Ally Maynard @missmayn it's actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing and so many people are still like, no thanks the suffering is what makes it special. 07:21 PM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @missmayn 17. Cassie @cassiee1919 i miss him (literally the worst person i’ve ever met) 06:09 PM - 08 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @cassiee1919 18. lil pom poko jerk @rajandelman There are multiple guys in the NBA whose last name is Ball, and I think that's neat. That's hoop culture, there 07:29 PM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @rajandelman 19. broti gupta @BrotiGupta Empty statement with no intention to do anything 👇👇👇👇 https://t.co/VFqga7E6cM 03:27 AM - 10 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @BrotiGupta 20. Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama really feel like I should have gotten to fuck around a whole lot more for the historic amount of 'finding out' that's happened in my lifespan 01:01 AM - 11 Jan 2023 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @VeryBadLlama Don't miss last week's funniest tweets by women! 17 Funny Tweets By Women That Have Me Cackling Like A Chronically Late Witch Who Doesn't Realize Halloween Was 3 Months Ago