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    17 Funny Tweets By Women That Have Me Cackling Like A Chronically Late Witch Who Doesn't Realize Halloween Was 3 Months Ago

    "Well, well, well if it isn’t all my 'we’ll deal with it in January' chickens home to roost" —@hansmollman

    Happy 2023, BuzzFeeders!! If one of your resolutions was to log off this year, you're in the wrong place (but thank you for being here).

    maybe this is the year some of you finally go outside

    Twitter: @discord

    Make sure you start 2023 off right by following all these funny ladies on Twitter!


    the ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. idk who she is but she is a monster she is not fit for human interaction

    Twitter: @holy_schnitt


    I like my men like I like the year 2022: behind me

    Twitter: @omgskr


    I once slept with a man who in the middle of us making out, left the room, ate a spoonful of peanut butter, returned, continued making out with me, and never addressed the peanut butter

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_


    well, well, well if it isn’t all my “we’ll deal with it in January” chickens home to roost

    Twitter: @hansmollman


    what’s everyone doing for January 6th this year

    Twitter: @sallydarr


    when I crack open a crisp 2023 planner and it doesn’t immediately solve all of my problems and make me a more effective person

    20th Century Fox / Via Twitter: @VeryBadLlama


    2023 trying to drink more water but how do I stop the peeing

    Twitter: @trixiemattel


    Ladies do not call your bf your “partner” if he listens to Joe Rogan

    Twitter: @_Lexing10


    I would like to have a word with whoever it was that decided that all plus size people were into "fun sleeves"

    Twitter: @ashleyn1cole


    Important marriage info: If your spouse is comfy cozy on the couch and you get up to pour yourself a drink, what you have really poured is a team drink.

    Twitter: @missmulrooney


    Y’all, I told my daughter to put socks on her reborn doll & she gon say “ you can’t tell people how to take care of they kids “ 😂 I really don’t know how much longer I can do this 😭😭😭😭

    Twitter: @nyooxo


    Matthew Broderick: Life moves pretty fast ... Vin Diesel: And sometimes it moves pretty furious. Together: Coming to a theater near you- Movie Exec: Get out.

    Twitter: @everywhereist


    Watched Night at the Opera. Could you imagine going to an opera the Marx Brothers started ruining. I bet you'd think your life was in danger. You'd be like, "These wiseacres aren't going to stop doing bits until we're all dead"

    Twitter: @rajandelman


    my sister is so offline, unplugged, unbothered. she’s been doing the massive New York Times end of year crossword for 5 days. right now she’s solving a rubik’s cube. she just asked me if “gone girl” is a romance movie.

    Twitter: @saint_audrey


    I’m doing Dry January! I’ll still be drinking—but more of my jokes will be delivered without any emotion

    Twitter: @omgskr


    I know we all say this every year and then get lazy but in 2023 I am going to hold myself accountable and figure out the dyatlov pass incident

    Twitter: @sarahclazarus


    i already messed up… 2024 my year for sure

    Twitter: @Noorthevirgo

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