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17 Delightfully Campy And Over-The-Top Fireworks

Because when your packaging says "APOCALYPTIC SHITSHOW" and yet you're basically a sparkler, there's some giddy Bonfire Night exaggeration going on.

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Helpful hint: read all these fireworks' names in the style of that guy who does the voiceovers on The X Factor.

Because they all sound like bands Louis Walsh would champion at the judge's house stage of the competition.

1. THE PULVERIZER

"Red and green pearls to fanned red and green peonies, glittering comet tails to fanned red and silver whistling and crackling comet tails, blue and silver palms with time rain, fanned palms, multi-coloured peonies and a crackling, whistling multi shellburst finale."

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8. PARADISE PALMS, which is undoubtedly also the name of a resort in Magaluf.

"Wave after wave of multi-coloured palms followed by peonies in silver, red, purple and orange and a superb multishot peony finale with crackle, glitter, loud reports [and a half-price round of mini golf if you order a full English breakfast at Admiral Jack's on the seafront]."

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