Helpful hint: read all these fireworks’ names in the style of that guy who does the voiceovers on The X Factor.
Because they all sound like bands Louis Walsh would champion at the judge’s house stage of the competition.
8. PARADISE PALMS, which is undoubtedly also the name of a resort in Magaluf.
“Wave after wave of multi-coloured palms followed by peonies in silver, red, purple and orange and a superb multishot peony finale with crackle, glitter, loud reports [and a half-price round of mini golf if you order a full English breakfast at Admiral Jack’s on the seafront].”
p.s. This is the best campy firework option, however:
- Trump gave a speech in Gettysburg, PA that was billed as a major policy address. He mainly focused on his usual grievances 🔴
- Hillary Clinton's campaign is making an unprecedented play for Utah, a state that hasn't gone blue since 1964 🔵
- AT&T has made a deal to buy Time Warner — owner of CNN, HBO, and Warner Bros. — in one of the biggest acquisitions ever 💰
- A black metal band crashed a couple's engagement shoot and the photos are 🤘