“Visiting for a couple of weeks,” check. “Fairly high profile,” check. “Staying in East London,” check. By now, this Craigslist poster might as well attach a glittery Blingee to his message flashing “I’M AN OLYMPIAN” in sparkly all caps. But who is he?
He’s not the only potential Games competitor looking for no-strings-attached sexy times on Craiglist though, that’s for sure. Below are three more people who might be Olympians and are also on the prowl, and a bunch of regular folks and their funny/sad requests for carnal pleasures with the sporting world’s best. Most of the really explicit parts in their ads are censored — you’re welcome — for two reasons: 1) they made me blush and 2) this way you can play a sex-themed game of Mad Libs with their posts… if you don’t already play Mad Libs that way, of course. Here are the maybe-athletes:
You can afford to be “VERY selective” when picking Craigslist partners if you’re a Brazilian athlete, you know.
And now here are
normal people non-athletes seeking athletes. Most are fun, all are filthy:
This is almost romantic. But not quite.
Winner of the best ejaculation-themed pun gold medal.
Olympic athletes are always a plus, yes.
This one sure knows how to lay on the charm.
Technically not directed at athletes, BUT any use of the phrase “British sausage” deserves recognition.
In closing, one helpful note for many of these Craigslisters:
- A draft of a plan to repeal Obamacare was released that'll block federal funds from Planned Parenthood and cut healthcare benefits granted under the law.
- The widow of a Kansas immigrant who was allegedly killed by a white nationalist demanded answers from the government about stopping hate crimes in the US.
- Time to change your passwords: Uber and Fitbit are among the millions of websites that may have been compromised 🔐
- A billboard in North Carolina that claims "Real men provide. Real women appreciate it," has sparked controversy across the country 👀