“Visiting for a couple of weeks,” check. “Fairly high profile,” check. “Staying in East London,” check. By now, this Craigslist poster might as well attach a glittery Blingee to his message flashing “I’M AN OLYMPIAN” in sparkly all caps. But who is he?
He’s not the only potential Games competitor looking for no-strings-attached sexy times on Craiglist though, that’s for sure. Below are three more people who might be Olympians and are also on the prowl, and a bunch of regular folks and their funny/sad requests for carnal pleasures with the sporting world’s best. Most of the really explicit parts in their ads are censored — you’re welcome — for two reasons: 1) they made me blush and 2) this way you can play a sex-themed game of Mad Libs with their posts… if you don’t already play Mad Libs that way, of course. Here are the maybe-athletes:
You can afford to be “VERY selective” when picking Craigslist partners if you’re a Brazilian athlete, you know.
And now here are
normal people non-athletes seeking athletes. Most are fun, all are filthy:
This is almost romantic. But not quite.
Winner of the best ejaculation-themed pun gold medal.
Olympic athletes are always a plus, yes.
This one sure knows how to lay on the charm.
Technically not directed at athletes, BUT any use of the phrase “British sausage” deserves recognition.
In closing, one helpful note for many of these Craigslisters:
- Hidden from public view, there's a parallel legal universe that empowers corporations to bend countries to their will, an investigation reveals.
- Mexican music legend Juan Gabriel has died at 66. The singer was known for his mariachi tunes and love ballads.
- The 2016 MTV VMAs are airing at 8 p.m. ET tonight. Here are all the nominees 📺🎵