“Visiting for a couple of weeks,” check. “Fairly high profile,” check. “Staying in East London,” check. By now, this Craigslist poster might as well attach a glittery Blingee to his message flashing “I’M AN OLYMPIAN” in sparkly all caps. But who is he?
He’s not the only potential Games competitor looking for no-strings-attached sexy times on Craiglist though, that’s for sure. Below are three more people who might be Olympians and are also on the prowl, and a bunch of regular folks and their funny/sad requests for carnal pleasures with the sporting world’s best. Most of the really explicit parts in their ads are censored — you’re welcome — for two reasons: 1) they made me blush and 2) this way you can play a sex-themed game of Mad Libs with their posts… if you don’t already play Mad Libs that way, of course. Here are the maybe-athletes:
You can afford to be “VERY selective” when picking Craigslist partners if you’re a Brazilian athlete, you know.
And now here are
normal people non-athletes seeking athletes. Most are fun, all are filthy:
This is almost romantic. But not quite.
Winner of the best ejaculation-themed pun gold medal.
Olympic athletes are always a plus, yes.
This one sure knows how to lay on the charm.
Technically not directed at athletes, BUT any use of the phrase “British sausage” deserves recognition.
In closing, one helpful note for many of these Craigslisters:
- We cannot go back: Tribal leaders say they will fight Trump's revival of the Dakota Access and Keystone XL pipelines.
- Mark Zuckerberg denied rumors that he might run for president, telling BuzzFeed News, "I'm focused on building our community at Facebook."
- Press Secretary Sean Spicer at today's White House briefing defended Trump's claim that millions of people voted illegally—but he cited a debunked study.
- A national park deleted its tweets about climate change after Trump silenced some US environmental agencies 👀