1.
I don't know why everyone is so surprised. Bernie Sanders's whole vibe is "guy who is friends with birds."
2.
Bernie Sanders looks like a freshman philosophy professor whose office hours are fuck you
3.
It's impossible to use my computer without Bernie Sanders popping up in my face somehow, he's like the Adobe Acrobat Updater of people
4.
Bernie looks like the guy in disaster movies who knows whats coming but no one listens to cause his hair bad and he keep dropping his papers
5.
Me: Bernie come over Bernie: I can't I'm at a debate Me: I'm being overcharged for a college education Bernie:
6.
[year 2060] teacher: yes, things were looking grim for old bernie student: so.. so how did he win? teacher: you see, there was this bird
7.
Is Bernie Sanders the "Infinite Jest" of people?
8.
got a bag full of bernie merch
9.
Bernie Sanders always looks like he's trying to figure out what all the cables behind his entertainment center are connected to
10.
"Cruising down the street in my six fo', taxing the rich, helping thr poor"
11.
"If you like Bernie Sanders, you may also enjoy...Donald Trump." - Amazon's algorithm, to New Hampshire
12.
HILLARY: how does bernie have more of the younger vote than me? it doesn't make sense. im hip! BERNIE: why do the teens call me daddy
13.
"If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."
14.
"Come over" "I cant, I'm campaigning" "My parents arent home" "I know they're working longer hours for lower wages"
15.
Guys, are we fighting over Clinton & Sanders 'cuz Hillary has Werthers in her pocket & Bernie has Brach's? It's the same candy! *ducks*
16.
[movie theater] CASHIER: sixteen dollars ME: God, movies are so expensive BERNIE SANDERS: *whispering* things don't have to be this way
17.
i bet bernie sanders has challenged somebody to a duel before