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    Sep 24, 2015

    31 Thoughts I Had While Watching "Empire"

    Season 2, Episode 1: "The Devils Are Here"

    Fox / Via

    1. Let 'em know about that #BlackLivesMatter life, Swizz!

    2. Cookie's peacock-chic look is GORGEOUS!!

    3. Also Porcia matches Cookie's dress right now with the green tips. Cookie WOULD make her assistant match her dress tbh. There's no lie there.

    4. That was some straight-up Space Odyssey shit coming down with that ape suit, Cookie. Nice lil Kubrick reference there.

    5. Al Sharpton won't even miss a protest even if it's fictional. Goddamn.

    6. Speaking of references, Mimi looks like something out of Nightmare on Elm Street with that striped suit. #BooBooFreddy

    Chuck Hodes / FOX

    7. I don't know where they got all of these beautiful buff inmate extras but this is the SEXIEST prison I've ever seen! Also hey, that's...Chris Rock?

    8. Cookie firing shots at 50 Cent is so real. She would have nothing to do with his ass IRL.

    9. Does Terrence Howard know how to speak any louder than a furious whisper? He sounds so ANGRY but so QUIET how does he DO THAT???

    10. How much time do you think we'll spend this season watching Andre and Rhonda have breathy, post-sex conversations about murder? Do you think it's all the time?


    11. This season of Empire comes with 10x the gay we had last season and that is a-OK! What's the ship hasgtag for Anika and Mimi? Amimi? Minika?

    12. DORA YOU'RE BACK! Everybody say hi to Dora! Hi Dora!

    13. In the history of television, has the phrase "So you're going to make it to the meeting tomorrow" EVER resulted in the person making it to the meeting tomorrow?

    14. When did bougie Anika learn how to twerk? Where did she learn that? Who taught her? Can I have their number?

    15. Lucious went for this woman's shoes? He's cold as ice.

    16. Damn but then she called him yellow though.


    18. This is some supervillain shit Lucious is pulling, showing up on the big screen like Lex goddamn Luther. He's gonna build an island made of Kryptonite or become the king of Gotham by the time this season is out.

    19. I am going to have nightmares about his looming, giggling, face. How did he even get a phone in prison? Inmates can't FaceTime! You know that's bullshit!

    20. Literally the worst thing you can say to Jamal is that he's turning into Lucious. You can see the pain on his face!

    21. The little kids tried to take the wigs!

    22. But I am loving all of the wig visibility this season. Everybody in Hollywood wears wigs, people. Everyone. It's time we knew the truth.


    24. Jamal is freestyling a ballad right now? That's badass.

    25. Right, but focusing on the issue right now — which is that there is a head in a box in Cookie's house — Jamal better take his bad ass to somewhere safe because shit just got real.

    FOX / Via

    26. Lucious had me veerryyyyy scared for a second there but for all his flaws he is RIDE. OR. DIE.

    27. BRUH

    28. RUDE

    29. WOW

    30. I love Lucious's little shrug at the end there like "oof sometimes I even scare myself."

    31. Why is everyone acting like disrespecting Cookie is ever a good idea? Jamal you are smarter than this occasionally. Homeboy. Child. You deserve this. Ugh.

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