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24 Summer Fails Miami People Know Too Well

305 'til I melt.

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1. This mierda literally plaguing Miami beaches.

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2. This happening when you're in THAT spot.

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At least it only lasts about, what? Two minutes, tops.

3. When your street turns into a canal.

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Just like Venice!

4. Trying to park near the Beach.

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Especially at night. Good luck, because you're going to be circling from Labor Day through next Ultra.

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5. Trading in your winter croqueta body for your summer croqueta body

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What I mean is that right now my body is literally shaped like a croqueta.

6. Spending 172 hours on your hair, only to have the Miami humidity give you a free makeover.

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Is your hair naturally straight? Wavy? Curly? Springy? It doesn't matter, because you're gonna wear it frizzed.

8. The wildlife attacking you in your own home.

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Roaches count as wildlife. Those monsters.

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9. Your own car trying to kill you.

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An oven on wheels.

11. WHEN THIS HAPPENS.

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Turn the f around, Cookie Monster.

12. Knowing that summer = time to put up the hurricane shutters in the blazing heat.

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13. Actually, just hurricane season in general.

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14. When you need to "borrow" mangos from a neighbor's yard.

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DON'T LIE. YOU'VE DONE IT.

15. When your shoe options become drastically limited.

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Not counting the Miami Hurricane crocs your aunt bought you three Christmases ago.

16. When it's hot but so are you.

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😏

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17. When you came here to have a good time and honestly feel so attacked rn.

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Like, literally attacked.

18. Summer tourists who still think it's cute to announce "I'm in Miami, bitch."

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OK, first of all, you're visiting your grandmother in Boca and second, you need to stop.

19. When it's hot as hell but you still need your jolt of caffeine.

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It would be a crime to serve this on ice.

20. When being off for the summer means people have more time for chisme.

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Did you hear what Caro wore to the thing? No, not that Caro. The other one. No, to the other thing!

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21. When even your phone is like "fuck it."

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Too hot for this.

22. When you start reminiscing about those cold winter days...

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⛄️

23. Knowing so many people here are on vacation while you're staring at a spreadsheet.

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Visiting and living here are way, way different.

24. And, finally, when everyone is busting out their summer looks.

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Hope you like cake.