1. Sing songs about Miami to someone from Miami.
2. Ask if Miami is like it looks on any TV show about Miami.
3. ...Especially if that show is Miami Vice.
4. Ask if we know Pitbull.
5. Mistake South Beach for Miami.
6. Oh, and ever mistaking Ft. Lauderdale for Miami.
7. Call Miami "tacky."
8. Call Miami "uncultured."
9. Ask us if people truly are hotter in Miami.
10. Say people in Miami "talk funny."
11. Complain about how much Spanish is spoken here.
12. Quote Scarface.
Let me guess: Your "little friend" is a euphemism for something else. You're so clever, boo.