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    Updated on Sep 3, 2020. Posted on Jan 13, 2015

    16 Confessions Of People Who Are Always Late

    Be there in five. Hundred. Years.

    1. First off, we have to let you know that we DO TRY to be on time. But stuff ALWAYS happens!

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    What can go wrong will go wrong... the second you're about to leave for somewhere.

    2. Although, true, sometimes we're purposefully late. As a COURTESY!

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    Why show up to a party right when it starts, when you, the host, might still need time to get ready? You're welcome, basically.

    3. And let's be honest: We all know there's no such thing as "fashionably early."

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    Being early is fine if you have nothing else to do and no place else to go. * flips hair *

    4. ... And sometimes we're late to avoid awkwardness.

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    Being the first person to a party means being the first person to stand around the snack table pretending to text.

    5. Plus, we must confess that being late is the best way to avoid ever being stood up.

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    Too painful.

    6. We hate to admit it, but being late is also a good strategy in case something comes up.

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    What is something gets canceled at the last minute? What if someone terrible shows up? What if there's a sharknado? Better to wait and see.

    7. ... Like something better, for instance.

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    SORRY FOR "OBO*ing."

    *Or Better Offer, naturally

    Didn't say it's right. Just that it happens.

    8. And, yes, we're late because we're watching Netflix.

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    If we get there an hour late, that's an hour longer we have to watch Friends on the couch. Science.

    9. Then again, being late can also mean we put a lot of effort into getting ready.

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    Nothing says "I care" more than changing outfits six times.

    10. We'll let you vent about our lateness, but like, we all know it doesn't make a difference.

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    It's not like we don't know we're late.

    11. Setting an alarm is not going to make a difference.

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    Because alarms can be turned off. And ignored. A whole buncha times.

    12. Sometimes we wonder whether our lateness is ACTUALLY just chronic unluckiness.

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    The train we're on is the train that's going to be delayed.

    13. We have a sneaking suspicion that nothing in the world ever actually starts on time anyway.

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    Flights? Concerts? Weddings? BIRTHS? Nothing important ever happens on time.

    14. If you tell us to meet at "sixish," there is no way for us to tell whether you mean 6:00 on the dot or, like, 8:32. So we'll pick the later one.

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    WHAT DOES DOES THE "ISH" MEAN?

    15. Sometimes we truly believe that we will be there on time, because time is magic.

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    Five minutes can seem like an hour. An hour can feel like a second! Who KNOWS how it all works.

    16. And honestly, we just have way more important things to stress out about besides being on time!

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    ... Like finding a present that says, "I'm so sorry for being late. Again."

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