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19 Reasons Not To Visit The Miami Area

Welcome to EWWW / Bienvenido a OOOOOF.

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16. The food there is gross and boring and I want to vom just thinking about it. YUCK.

A Cuban frita from El Rey de las Fritas, Colombian patacón and empanada at Bolivar, and a Trinidadian-spiced curry roti roll from Christine's Roti Kitchen.

18. It's aggressively basic, with no sense of originality or weirdness.

The mysterious Coral Castle was built with over 1,100 tons of coral rock quarried, carved, and assembled through unknown means by one man, Edward Leedskalnin, as a monument to his lost love. Or it was built by aliens. One can never be too sure.

UGH. Don't ever visit. You'll hate every delicious, musical, inspiring, sun-drenched, ocean breeze-kissed moment.

joiseyshowaa / Creative Commons / Flickr: joiseyshowaa

The sun rises over the Miami skyline, as seen from Matheson Hammock.

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