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If Famous Romantic Movies Starred Steve Buscemi

"Love means always saying, 'Steve Buscemi.'"

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1. The Notebook

New Line Cinema

Two star-crossed dreamers from different walks of life meet and fall in love, despite their differences. One is Steve Buscemi. You can tell from the name written on his notebook.

Most Romantic Part: We discover the whole thing is a flashback that Steve Buscemi is reading to his wife from his notebook.

2. You've Got Mail

Warner Bros.

An indie bookshop owner has an online correspondence with a stranger she knows only as xXxNotSteveBuscemixXx. She tells him about her struggle to keep her store open despite the success of a much larger chain, Buscemi Books. What she discovers next will change her life forever.

Most Romantic Part: When the indie bookshop owner reveals she had hoped xXxNotSteveBuscemixXx was Steve Buscemi the whole time.

3. The Fault in Our Stars

20th Century Fox

Two people battling cancer fall deeply in love, despite their illness. In the process, they teach one another about love, time, and the very meaning of what it is to live. (Spoiler: the meaning of life is Steve Buscemi.)

Most Romantic Part: The lovestruck couple repeat "Steve Buscemi" to one another, and it becomes a special term they share.

4. Titanic

Paramount Pictures

An impoverished artist (Steve Buscemi) and an engaged socialite named Rose (not Steve Buscemi) meet on a boat. The boat sinks.

Most Romantic Part: When Steve Buscemi realizes that both he and Rose can both easily fit on a piece of debris and survive.

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5. West Side Story

United Artists

An Anglo man, Steve Buscemi, and a Puerto Rican woman, Maria, dance and fall in love in this updated version of the classic Romeo and Juliet tale set in Manhattan's West Side.

Most Romantic Part: Steve Buscemi declares his love for Maria through the power of dance and wonders aloud why so many of the actors playing Puerto Ricans are gringos wearing a worrisome amount of bronzer. Maria laughs and agrees.

6. Love Story

Paramount Pictures

A rich man and a poor woman named Jenny fall in love, and then one of them dies, as seems to be the running theme in pretty much all of these movies. Why is that?

Most Romantic Part: Seriously, why do all star-crossed lovers from different social classes have to face death? What does that say about their love? That it was doomed from the start? That the only answer is death? Anyway. A romantic part in this movie is when Jenny begins to say, "Love means never having to say you're sorry" and Steve Buscemi gently laughs and says, "That is not true."

7. When Harry Met Sally

Columbia Pictures

Can men and women be more than friends? The answer is no when the man happens to be Steve Buscemi!

Most Romantic Part: Sally fakes an orgasm in a restaurant and she and Steve Buscemi are asked to please leave.

8. A Walk to Remember

Warner Bros.

Like, literally the same plot as all of these other movies. Honestly.

Most Romantic Part: Steve Buscemi turns to the audience and sighs, "This is truly a walk to remember."

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10. Pretty Woman

Buena Vista Pictures

A wealthy man, Steve Buscemi, falls in love with a prostitute named Vivian whom he hires to spend time with him. But she doesn't take the money because she wants to hang out with Steve Buscemi for free. I mean, it's Steve Buscemi! Who wouldn't?

Most Romantic Part: Steve Buscemi gives Vivian a necklace and she laughs because everything is so great!

11. Sleepless in Seattle

TriStar Pictures

Grappling with insomnia in the wake of his wife's death, Steve Buscemi finds himself on a late night radio show, professing his love for his late wife. A woman becomes super involved with him in a way that could be seen as creepy, but luckily everything works out.

Most Romantic Part: Steve Buscemi is finally able to sleep.

12. The Little Mermaid

Walt Disney Pictures

A mermaid, Steve Buscemi, falls in love with a handsome prince played by Steve Buscemi. The mermaid trades his beautiful voice for legs, which the prince is really into.

Most Romantic Part: When Steve Buscemi realizes he can basically just write out what happened instead of sitting around in silence waiting for love.