Going Out On St. Patrick's Day, As Told By "Leprechaun"
Green beer = no fear.
Going out on St. Patrick's Day can be STRESSFUL.
It starts when someone asks if you want to go to a St. Patrick's party and you're like, "This sounds mildly terrifying."
But then you hear there'll be pizza at the party, so you're all YAAAAAAS.
Then you get to the party and don't recognize anyone there.
So you call your friend and ask if they're planning on EVER SHOWING UP TO THIS.
So you're bummed, waiting. But then you see it: GREEN. BEER.
THEN your friend finally texts back with "I'm at this OTHER PARTY," so you leave without saying good-bye to anyone.
You are pleased to note that everyone at this next party looks SUPER HOT in green.
You finally spot your friend and you're like "HEY GIRL."
You friend asks if you want to wear novelty shamrock sunglasses and you're like "HAHAHA. No."
So by this point you've had so much green beer that you yell, "LET'S MAKE LIKE A SHAM AND ROCK."
You have a drink with all the "new friends" you've made that night.
Your friend tells you that you've had too much green beer and pizza, but you're like "I'M INVINCIBLE."
"I CAN TOTALLY WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE," you shout.
You think you have the singing chops to perform "Oh Danny Boy," but guess what.
So your friend is like, "YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD AND WE'RE LEAVING."
Your Uber ride home is a total nightmare because you're trying hard to keep all your beer inside your body.
Like, you're an actual hot mess.
And yet, the minute you get home, you can only think of one thing: SNACKS.
At this point, you really just want to pass out in bed. But then you remember: IT'S A WEEK NIGHT. AND YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW.
So you put on some sunglasses and pretend this night never happened.
Have a happy (and safe) St. Patrick's Day!
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