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    A Lancashire Burglar Got Arrested Because He Had Sex With A Teddy Bear During A Break-In

    This is a story which can only be told through GIFs from the movie Ted.

    Blackburn magistrates court has just heard the case of a man named Paul Mountain.

    Universal Pictures / Via tumblr.com

    Mountain had been taking amphetimine, after which he broke into a shed in Darwen, Lancashire. In this GIF Ted is smoking marijuana but you get the idea.

    It seems that during the break-in Mountain saw something in the shed that caught his eye.

    Universal Pictures
    Universal Pictures / giphy.com

    According to the prosecutor Dominic Howells: ""He told officers he was coming down off amphetamine and felt overwhelming need for sexual relief."

    The bear in question didn't attempt to fight off his advances, but if it had it would have looked something like this.

    Universal Pictures / Via hollywoodcrush.mtv.com

    The trouble for Mountain was that as a result of this tryst, he'd left his DNA at the crime scene.

    Universal Pictures / Via giphy.com

    And now he's pleaded guilty to burglary with intent to steal.

    Universal Pictures / Via giphy.com

    He's been remanded on bail while a pre-sentence report is prepared. And that is the tragic story of Paul Mountain.

    This post originally stated Darwen was in Lincolnshire rather than Lancashire. This was almost certainly because the author hadn't had his coffee at the time of writing.

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